Kidnapped by Boys Who Turn into Wolves

20: What If I Don't Want You To Control Yourself?

A warming sensation flurries through my scalp as someone plays with my hair, sending me into euphoria. I experience no greater bliss then when someone runs their fingers through my silky midnight tresses. Slowly, like a butterfly opening its wings my eyes flutter open, adjusting to the dim light in the room. I stretch and moan after what feels like a good nap, at least a couple of hours. It takes my groggy mind a few seconds to work out that it is Alaric sitting beside my bed and stroking my hair tenderly. At first I sigh, never having felt so at peace in my life, but then the haunting memories flow back in of his disgraceful treatment of me, and I tense, rolling away from him.

"I'm really sorry Jess... I didn't mean to hurt you. It is just that someone... someone from my past who I thought I would never have to see again attacked us today, and I had to find out where he has come from and how he has built an army. People got hurt today Jessamine, really hurt. And all because I didn't kill him last time." Alaric reveals bitterly, his voice cracking with emotion.

Instantly I feel wide-awake and cannot help but turn over to face him, hating the crushed and vulnerable look on Alaric's face. His eyes are cast down as he refuses to look at me, and my heart aches as I notice his tear-filled eyes. I have never seen him look so vulnerable... he has never allowed himself to look weak around me. Carefully like dealing with a spooked horse I inch closer to him, a desperate need filling me to share his pain and know what has happened.

As I gently reach out to hold his hand Alaric flinches, and obviously embarrassed by his sadness he tries to turn away from me, but I grab his arm and pull him back down. There is no way I am going to let him clam back up again now.

"No wait, this is good you're opening up to me. As you're my... my mate and I am your Luna, you need to tell me things... I am here for you. Please tell me what happened." I beg as I smoothly crawl onto his lap.

Once I am straddling him with my arms firmly around his neck, he lifts his eyes to look at me, and I am pained by the heartbreak I see swirling in his cloudy greeny-blue orbs.

"Why don't you want to talk to me? I thought you love me." I whisper, trying to keep a nonchalant expression but from the way he tenses, I know some sadness has seeped through.

"It's not that I don't want to trust you and open up to you Jessamine... It is just that if I do then I have to accept that I am weak... You make me weak because if I lose you then I lose everything and I can't do that Jessamine, I... I need you." Alaric whispers brokenly.

Despite the sadness of his words, my heart glows in warmth and love.

"Thank you Alaric... That is so sweet, but is it such a bad thing to have people you care about? What kind of life are you living if you're all alone?" I question.

"Well I... I guess not, as long as you don't have enemies. But it is easier not to love at all and know you can't be hurt by loss then to put yourself out there. But don't you see? It's too late for me now. I'm vulnerable. You are the most important thing in my life." Alaric proclaims as he pulls me tighter into him.

"Aww Alaric baby... you are important to me to, and I want to be there for you... Please tell me what's going on. I'm not going anywhere." I promise him.

"Ok... ok Jessamine. I will tell you." He murmurs. "It was my childhood best friend... Killian. We grew up together, and he was meant to be my beta – second in command, but he became power hungry. He conspired with the alpha of a neighbourhood pack to take over this one. My mother was killed as part of his brutal takeover, and my father and I with our warriors managed to defeat them in a long, gruelling battle, but we lost half the pack and my father died soon after mourning my mother. I became alpha at 17, and I haven't let anyone get close to me for years, as I am better alone. Then I met you... I instantly knew you were my soulmate. Of course I always wanted one, seeing all my friends so happy and in love, but I was also scared to have to commit to someone. But when I saw you looking so beautiful I knew that I could never let you go. I am sorry I kidnapped you though. I know now that I shouldn't have done that." Alaric explained.