|Love or hate?| Depressed Deku AU?|

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(Izuku Midoriya's P.O.V)
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It's only been five days. Yet, it fills like it's been years.

It's only been five days since I can no longer see or hear Kacchan..

It's only been five days since he was pronounced dead..and It's all my fault..

I never even got to tell him that I loved him properly. Everytime I did..It was during a dangerous situation.

I haven't even come out of my room since then. Unless it is to take a shower or use the bathroom.

If I were to come out..Nobody would want to see or even talk to me knowing that this is all my fault.

If I had just never been so depressed in the first place, he would still be here..

He wouldn't have to have a funeral. We could be talking right now..but no..

I'm in my room..crying into my sheets like the little baby I am.

The only thing I have from him was one of his shirts from when he last stayed over at my house which was years ago.

I never bothered to give it back, mainly because he most likely couldn't ever fit it anymore..

It's pitiful. How that is the only thing I have from him..and to think we could actually be considered dating..

I was a lousy excuse for a boyfriend. I didn't even ever hang out with him properly..we never went on dates.

He never got to complete his dream of becoming a hero..All because of me..

Maybe i'm just a bad omen. A curse. Maybe I shouldn't be around people because all I cause them is misery and pain.

I felt my phone vibrate beside me. I forcefully opened my sleep deprived eyes and looked at the phone.

Kirishima- Midoriya? Please answer our.
text. We're worried..

I slammed my phone down on my bed again. I've been getting text like those ever since I had stopped attending school.

They aren't really too worried. If i were to go back and say something about Kacchan..They would hate me.

..Nobody has told the class Kacchan has..

He..

I felt tears prick the side of my eyes, burning them a little.

I don't understand why he had to die and not me. My goal was to make the pain end! Not create more!

I just made everything so much painful..it's just chain reactions..

Why did he die? And not me?! It's not fair!

It's not fair...

"Izuku.."

I heard my mom knock on my door. "..Will you please eat? I understand your sad. I am too, but it doesn't just mean you can ignore your personal needs.."

If it means finally dying, then yes. It does mean I can ignore them and I will..

"..I-I'll leave the food here. Please eat.." I heard her walk away.

I didn't bother moving from my spot. What was the point in moving when you know someday you'll just stop?

All over the news..was how I had jumped off the top of U.A and some people are blaming it on them.

That they should've never even had the roof doors opened and accessible. That they should've took procautions to make sure this never happened.

That they should've notice changed in my personality. That it's there fault and they can't find a perfect reason to back themselves up now..