Hacking the Sun - The Re-Remake

Chapter 5 Life Is Like An Algorithm 1/2

Red bricks, yellow orbs, a curved roof, and the overhead restaurant name: Jedediah Sushi. Plus its Hiragana equivalent. Of the many food joints in Tokyo Town, Jessica, Shannon, and Valerie arrived by red brick and old-fashioned doors that, when opened, rang a bell.

"Irasshaimase!"

Red lanterns burned yellow amidst sparse rows of upholstery and oak. Two counters, one on either side of the room, hosted chefs who sliced and diced imitation tuna. They were just as meticulous with the Nigiri. 

"Order!" 

Topped at last with thinly sliced lemon, the dishes waited for the waitresses in French maid attire and eventually landed right on Jessica's table.

"What do you call them, again?" said Shannon, sitting directly across.

"Black Hats," said Jessica, clapping her chopsticks.

"What's so special about 'em?"

Jessica shoved a roll in her mouth and chewed while Shannon waited for an answer, then chewed, chewed, and chewed some more. Valerie leaned sideways, in front of Shannon, likewise anticipating a response. Shannon gently shoved Valerie's head out of the way. "I mean, they're hackers, right?" she continued.

Jessica coughed and took a sip of water. "The definition of hacker varies, you know? It has this elastic meaning, but I pay no attention to the connotations of the plebs. You could be a hacker; I could be a hacker; it doesn't mean we've done anything wrong – It's not a bad thing." She stood up and slammed fists on the table exaggeratedly "But there ain't no good deed that's not under the nutty hands of 'crackers'."

"What do crackers do?" said Valerie. "Besides be white, salty, and crunchy."

Jessica set her chopsticks down and cracked a knuckle. "Okay, so, you ever had a computer virus?"

"Maybe."

"No," answered Shannon. "At least, not in a long time. I always got the anti-virus running."

"That can work," replied Jess, making a jive. "But, see, software viruses originate from jerks, a.k.a. Black Hats. Computer savvy criminals are shit weasels behind everyday software issues. There are so many ways and so many reasons why someone could—may want to infiltrate your system. And it's not just brute force, like trying to decrypt your files. Too much work. Clever fuckers can always find ways around your security and get to your PHI. One way is social engineering, which is basically the stuff we see every day, like advertising pop-ups. Stay away from those."

"You mean to tell me," started Valerie, "that I should not claim my millions of dollars for being the billionth visitor to a site? A bunch of hot girls aren't waiting for my dick around the corner?"

Jessica shrugged. "They aren't always that obvious, Homegirl, especially if you're downloading Hentai all the time."

"Say you do get a virus," Shannon said sincerely, "do you know how to get rid of it?"

"That depends." She smirked.

"On what?"

"Are you asking me personally?"

"Why, it may be that I am, Miss Leibniz."

"Ooh, ah, let's see. I need a way to explain it without making it sound boring."

Valerie giggled. "You can do that?"

"Would you like me to beatbox?" said Shannon.

"Can you?" said Jess.

Shannon placed a tuna roll in her mouth and garbled, "Nope."

"Welp. When it comes to implementation, there aren't too many methods. Understanding a virus's identity, so to speak, allows decryption or circumvention. Never easy. Viruses replicate their source codes, and the encryption changes per creator, even the language itself. Someone always loses before a crack is patched. After sifting through malware, you can develop a tool to defend against future infections. But, when a new one shows up, the process starts all over again..."