Drapetomania;
An overwhelming urge to run away.
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'Come back home.'
'You did your best.'
'You don't belong there,' they had said.
And she listened. She listened and she reluctantly agreed that it was time to stop dreaming and time to accept that a pencil and paper won't get her anywhere in life.
She had her chance.
And she failed.
Charise sat at the back of the train that slowly drove away from the city that she grew to love - pulling her apart from her passion and only potential. if she had any, to begin with.
She was pleading herself to stop the train - to get off and run away, run away from the humiliation, loneliness, and loss. Yet instead she forced herself to remain seated. She kept her hands folded on her river-blue skirt and eyes focused on the raindrops that forcefully splattered against the window.
There was so much to think about it seemed, however, Charise's mind was completely blank, now only occupied by the rain and the rattling of her suitcase that sat under her seat.
"Would you like anything?" The voice of the train waitress made her gasp, before painting her cheeks red with embarrassment.
"No... that's alright, thank you."
The old waitress's face softened into a smile, a smile that reminded her of her mother, a smile that planted a seed of guilt in her stomach.
"You sure, sweetie? What about a cup of tea?" The woman insisted and without waiting for Charise's answer poured her a cup of Earl Grey into a small blue teacup with beautiful flower designs.
"Thank you," Charise said gently and wrapped her cold hands around the cup of tea. She breathed in the sweet smell - she felt it go down to her lungs, warming her entire body.
Charise looked up - there was nobody in the corridor, the lady had already left.
A pang of loneliness seeded next to her sprout of guilt, and this time she wanted to cry, scream and laugh all at the same time. Everything fell apart so quickly that it was almost funny. Humorous how she was sitting here, on the cold damp train with nothing but a cup of tea and an awfully light suitcase, how she was only 23 but she felt her life slip between her fingers, how she wasted her life trying to achieve something that everyone told her was impossible.
Humorous how much of a fool she was.
**
She left the train at Baker Boulevard, the closest town she'd be able to visit from her family's house far off in the countryside.
The rain fell hard on the stone pavement, muffling the voices of people around her and darkening the sky into a foggy-blue color. She wrapped her poncho tightly around her small frame and with her head down ran to the nearest café.
The artificial lights of the café strained her eyes that were getting used to the dark surroundings. Charise squinted and gently rubbed them, flicking off the remaining droplets from her eyelashes.
She searched her pockets for coins, and sure enough, she found a few. A few would be enough to buy a cup of coffee.
Charise sat in front of the large window directly seated from the espresso machines. One hand wrapped around the coffee mug and the other held up a soggy newspaper that she picked up not long ago.
The energizing drug-like feel of the coffee soothed her, installing her mind with false happiness. She carefully placed the newspaper on the table, and read the headline;
'FIRE IN ST. ESTER SCHOOL'
It read,
The devastating fire took place on March 10th and predicted to have started as early as 6 am. Nobody was...
St. Ester was the school Charise attended as a little girl, and the printed letters that informed her of the school's passing broke her heart. Every morning she'd wake up at 6:30 am, so by 7 her father could drive her to school. It was a long but very enjoyable ride, her father would tell her stories and rant about politics, and even though she didn't understand everything that he was talking about, she loved listening... that was, while her father was alive.
Charise put down the newspaper and finished her coffee in 3 large gulps before running to the nearest payphone box and using the small blue buttons to dial a taxi.
A taxi that would take her to the home she grew up in.
A home that she was both so sick of and homesick for.
A house that she didn't want to spend the rest of her life in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Thank you everyone for the kind words and suggestions!
To my previous readers - I deleted "humorous" three times!
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Blue Sheep || ONGOING
Romance《PARTLY EDITED》After failing to pursue a career in art, Charise Sinclair moves back to her parents' home in the countryside. She is heavily encouraged to get married to a successful but broken man - and she doesn't know if she's ready to commit her...
