A Grey Place • Kylo Ren

Part Eleven

It had been days and Alwyn hadn't awoken. Kylo stayed by her side as much as he could. He had barely been hit in the side so he had almost completely recovered. He knew he would trade places with Alwyn in a heartbeat. She was so still on the medical bed and her face held peace despite her body having faced death not once but twice now. Kylo blamed himself for both. It was his idea to take her with him to Corellia and it was his fault they argued. He hadn't meant a word he had said but he hadn't gotten to tell her. Kylo had been so afraid when he woke up after the fight only  to be told that Alwyn was in critical condition. She had tried to save his life and it almost cost her own. Kylo had never worried about the lives that were lost before now but something was different. Alwyn was different. She made him feel things and he didn't know if he liked it or not. Snoke had trained him to only use his anger and hate but lately Kylo could feel the call to the light again. Kylo realized that the thought of losing that light terrified him. Alwyn was his light and he didn't plan on letting her go.
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Hux had been furious when he found out what happened. The first stop he made was Kylo Ren's room. The man had been discharged a few days back and Hux was about to put him right back in the med bay. He may not have the force but with the anger he had, Hux wouldn't need it.

"What is wrong with you?!" Hux yelled as he barged into the room. Ren sat on the bed, head in his hands.

"The girl risks her life for you, almost dies, and how do you repay her? By arguing with her when she has just woken up! Is it possible for you to think of anyone other than yourself?!" Hux was red in the face and he expected Ren to bring out the infamous lightsaber and cut him down. The opposite happened. Ren lifted his head and Hux could see a look in his eyes that he figured no one else had ever lived long enough to see. The man sitting on the bed in front of him was broken. Hux could see how haunted he seemed. Hux dropped his head and sighed.

"Ren-"

"No. You're right. I never think, I just act. And now look where it's gotten me." Even Ren's voice sounded wrong. Gone was the harsh, cold tone. Now he just sounded tired. Hux realized that in his own way, Ren cared for the girl too. The thought lightened his heart and terrified him at the same time.

"The Supreme Leader can never know how Alwyn makes you feel. If he does, you know what will happen. I doubt either of us can bare to lose her." Ren nodded silently. Hux chuckled at the irony of the situation. They had to keep the most powerful being in the universe from knowing that Alwyn was a likable distraction. Piece of cake.
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Alwyn awoke a day later. Her mind felt fuzzy and the last thing she remembered was arguing with Ren. He was upset with her. She sighed. As feeling slowly seeped back into her body she realized her hand was incased in a nice warmth. A hand held hers in a soft grip. The hand was attached to none other than Kylo Ren. He was in a black t-shirt and was asleep. His head rested on the bed next to their intertwined hands. Alwyn knew he had to be uncomfortable. The chair he was in was tiny and the man wasn't small. She grinned slightly. Maybe he wasn't upset with her after all.  She wanted this moment to last longer but Alwyn knew she needed to wake him up. Lifting her hand that wasn't being held, she brushed the hair off of his forehead. The light movement was enough to cause Kylo to jump awake. He looked around quickly wondering what woke him before meeting the open eyes of Alwyn. His breathe caught in his throat and she grinned slightly at him. How he had missed those eyes looking at him.

"You're awake." Kylo was worried he was dreaming.

"No, I've mastered the art of sleeping with my eyes open. Yes I'm awake." Alwyn let out a giggle. Kylo knew he wasn't dreaming. Her sense of humor was uniquely hers. Looking into her eyes, Kylo's guilt flooded back into him. He dropped his head and stared at their entwined hands.

"Hey. What's wrong?"

"It's my fault. You almost died twice and it's my fault." Alwyn was shocked.

"Hey. It takes two to carry an argument. I was just as much at fault for that. Besides it probably wasn't smart of me to rush out of bed the day after waking up." Alwyn giggled. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"And I repaid you by yelling things I didn't even mean." Kylo shook his head angrily. A part of Alwyn was happy he wasn't upset with her but she didn't want him to be upset with himself either.

"I'm not mad at you. I-"

"No! You don't get it. You should be mad at me. You should hate me for all the things I've done to you. Why can't you see that?!"

"I just think that you're not as dark as you want people to believe. I see light in you and I think that terrifies you. I don't see you as this horrible monster and I never will." Kylo stared into her eyes. Alwyn looked at him long and hard and all she saw was a man broken by years of tragedy and pain, forced to do unspeakable things. Not the monster everyone said he was.

"I have to ask though. Why were you so mad at me for saving you?" He moved closer.

"I couldn't stand the thought of you dying trying to save my life. If it meant that I died and you lived, then I would die for you every time." He closed the gap between them and pressed his lips to hers.

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A/N
I loved this chapter!! Character development am I right? Remember to comment any suggestions!
❤️