The Inceptive Flame⎪✓

❨49❩

♀︎

Angrily removing the tears from my face, I trudge through the streets of my hometown and ignore my sweaty palms. The hammering in my heart makes it hard for me to breathe and I will myself to focus on something positive, stiffening my body when my mind comes up short I huff in frustration. Darkness settles across the sky as coldness nips at my cheeks, I truly cannot bring myself to care. The conversation I just had with my mom is etched into my skin and I can't fucking shake it.

Grabbing my dad's most valued items and his clothes for the funeral, I tucked it into my suitcase along with every last thing of mine in this house. This was it, I was leaving and never returning. My heart beat out of my chest by the thought of leaving every memory behind, every person, Elijah. My dad wanted this for me and I damn well will make him proud. My room was completely empty, the photos that hung on the wall were now packed away safely in my wallet, the small decorative items I had had for too many years are gone from the shelves. Nothing in here made me feel anything anymore, except for the pain of losing my dad and having to abandon everyone. 

Controlling the tears, I kept my head up and walked out of the room before giving it one last longing glance. My heart hammered in my chest when I tried to get every suitcase downstairs without falling, three suitcases and two trips up and down later, I looked around the living room and the kitchen. Pictures of my dad and I on the fridge made tears well up in my eyes and I hurried to grab them and packed them into my belongings as well. This was it.

"I loved him, too," Mother suddenly spoke from the living room, I hadn't seen her before. Her eyes were red and there was a slight wobble to her step, she was drunk again. No part of me wanted to be here anymore, a new beginning seemed better and better by every step she took in my direction. I walked into the kitchen and she sat down by the island. "It will be hard without him, but the two of us will get by just fine. This is a phase and we need to get over it. He was the man of my life and I will probably have the hardest time dealing with this."

"You never cared for him. Ever since he signed the will you ignored him, never once visiting him or caring about his progress. You threw the wedding ring away the second you started drinking and now you expect me to believe you love him?" I spat at her the pain slipped through my voice unintentionally. Tugging at the roots of my hair I walked from one side of the kitchen to the other. 

"Kota," She tried to persuade me with widened eyes, I almost threw up by her using that nickname, she never referred to me like that and now she did it to hit me where it hurts. "Your dad wasn't in the right state of mind when he gave you the money, he was sick and delusional. If you really want to grant his wishes for once, since you ensured he died in the hospital after all, then you give me the money. There is no way he would have wanted a reckless teen to carry so much in her bank account," Her indifference shone through and her words drew a knife straight through my heart. I was already in pain by him not dying at home, having her say those things to me made it more real and I couldn't deal with that. 

"You talk like you actually know what he wanted," I scoffed in annoyance and hurt. "If you did you would have been there for us, you would have stayed by his side until he took his last breath, you would have been there for my graduation. But you weren't. Your newfound lifestyle takes first place as always and if there is something dad didn't want his hard earned money to support, it would be your excessive drinking."

"I don't drink, Dakota."

"Now that is just a straight up lie, mother."

She grabbed a glass of wine before sitting down again, proving my point. Her anger and disregard towards me shone through as she glared me down, "Even if I did, the money is mine. He wrote it into the will that day, everything is mine!"