Our Future (BILLIE EILISH)

- T h i r t y t w o -

January 23rd:

Billie's POV:

Maddie's been gone for like three days? I don't know, I just know that it's too long. After she talked to me about her feelings about everything that happened, I felt like shit. Because I'm the reason that she feels that way, that was never my intention. My intention was to never hurt her, I didn't have an intention when that was happening and I don't even know what I was thinking during that time.

I'm sitting at her house, with Milo in my lap. I was watching The Office on the T.V. I've been bored as hell without her, even though I have a whole tour I could be preparing for. I don't want to do anything until she's here.

I'm really relying on this trip to make sure that her happiness gets restored, I meant what I said. I don't think that her sadness is coming back, I just think she let that get to her. If I were her, it would've gotten to me too.

I'm fucking stupid as hell, it took me so long to convince her that I was never going to leave, and all that progress I made with her. I threw it away because I was angry, I don't even know what I was angry at. I'm gonna blame it on the paparazzi, because we can't do shit without them in our business.

I didn't tell her that I thought my dream was coming true, she hasn't posted on Instagram since this happened. I don't blame her. This is the one week that she should be posting on Instagram, but she's not.

Tour stuff starts happening tonight. I'm stressed as hell for the Grammy's. What's going to happen if I win? I've made it, if I do win.

Incoming FaceTime Call From Shorty❤️:

Billie: "Shorty!"

Maddie: "Hi babygirl! I miss you."

She looks happy, thank god.

Billie: "I miss you! I'm too bored." I whined.

Maddie: "How's Milo?"

Billie: "She's good." I flipped the camera so she could see, "What? You think I can't take care of her?"

Maddie: "I never said that." She laughed.

Billie: "How's London?"

Maddie: "Fire as hell, I love it here. My sleep schedule's fucked up again."

Billie: "I didn't have much hope for your sleep schedule." I laughed, "I'll be here to help you fix it."

Maddie: "I know you will, I love you. I gotta go to the show."

Billie: "I love you too, call me after?"

Maddie: "I will, if it's not too late."

Billie: "I don't care what time it is, call me."

Maddie: "You are so dramatic, but I will. Bye."

Billie: "Bye shorty."

Call Ended.

Maddie and I's relationship has been amazing, and then that happened. I don't know what I would do if our relationship is fucked up, we were so good for so long.

But I don't think that our relationship is going to get fucked up, it might take a minute for us to get back on the same page about everything. But we're strong, so we'll get through it.

I have to go to a rehearsal for the Grammy's, I'm hyped as hell for that. But later tonight, is the first night of dance. I didn't tell her that, I should've I know, but she's having an amazing time In London with Claudia and Kenzie. I think Holden went too, I don't even know at this point, but even if I told her that everything would be okay. She would doubt it, especially with everything that's going on with us right now.

To me it's not that big of a deal because she talked about her feelings and she told me how she feels, but the reason that it's a problem is because she said that her sadness is coming back. I don't want her sadness coming back, I especially don't want it coming back if I'm the reason for it.

Via Instagram:

Liked by: billieeilish, belltwins, and 6,245,098 others.

madisonvoyage: you know, for being invited to London fashion week. i still dress basic as hell🙄

billieeilish: i miss you

madisonvoyage: @billieeilish i miss you too babygirl

* comments have been limited *

...

My Grammy rehearsal went fine, now it's time for what I'm really scared for, you remember when I said that Kylie's done working for her mom and she's on with her life? Yeah so do I, I lied. I found out that she works there permanently from now on so I'm probably going to have to deal with her until I stop touring.

I walked into the dance studio to be greeted by Rose, the person that should be helping me through everything. But no, I know that I'm going to the thrown in a room with Kylie.

Rose: "It's so good to see you darling, I feel like we haven't spoke in forever!" She gave me a hug.

Billie: "Cause we haven't! How are you?"

Rose: "I'm amazing sweetie. How was tour?"

Billie: "It was amazing, Maddie came with me for a majority of it."

Rose: "I know, I saw the videos. You guys are too cute."

Billie: "Thank you, I appreciate it."

Rose: "Go to room 3 and we'll get started."

Billie: "Okay."

I walked down the hall and I was looking at my phone, there was nothing on it. I was just praying that Kylie wasn't on the other side of this door.

I opened the door, and it revealed an empty room. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, there's still a high chance that I'll see her. But she's not here right now, so I have to enjoy this moment.

I googled what time it was in London, Maddie should've just gotten to her show. So therefore, she shouldn't cal me for a couple hours.

I was scrolling through my camera roll looking for a picture to post, but I couldn't find one. I looked up and I see Kylie walk past the door, here we go again.

She looked into the room and kept walking, but she came back after she did a double take. She opened the door, and I can see the sorry on her face.

Kylie: "Hi Billie, I'm not here to- whatever. I just wanted to say sorry, if I caused any problems in your relationship."

Billie: "You did, but we're fine now. But in the end it was pinned on me."

Kylie: "I'm sorr-"

Billie: "Stop apologizing, it's whatever. Maddie and I are thriving and it's in the past. I don't wanna work with you though, not to be a bitch or anything." I shrugged my shoulders.

Kylie: "Understandable."

She walked out of the room, I feel shitty for acting like a bitch. But it's what had to happen.

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this chapter was short as hell, but next chapter is the grammy's so this shit should be fun as hell. i have no plan for that chapter so that shit is literally going to come out of my ass 😂

thanks ily

words: 1174.