Some Things Fall Away (Blue Bloods Fanfiction)

↞ Chapter Eleven ↠

Season Four

"Don't bother coming into work today Howards." Danny's voice was distant when he called me, which led me to believe that the phone was in his lap and that he was driving. Even though I constantly get onto him about being on the phone while driving, he still insists on doing it.

I was heading down the stairs and Danny's words made me pause, keys in hand. I pressed my hand into the handrail to stop myself from continuing down the stairs. "What why?"

"Called in for jury duty." Danny said it without any humor in his voice, which meant that enough of his family had given him grief about the irony of it all.

"Hmm." I hummed in response, turning myself back around and clunking up the stairs with a huff. I fumbled with my keys for a moment as Danny griped on and on about how much that he would rather do anything other than Jury Duty today.

"Felony murder trial, it'll take a few days at least." Danny shared, and I nodded even though I knew he couldn't see me. I stepped into my living room, pulling my coat off followed by my shoes. "The boss is giving you the time off, so relax, go on a date with that kid brother of mine, sleep in. Whatever it is that you do on our little time off."

I laughed, though it was dry and humorless. He said goodbye, and I followed suit. I tossed my phone onto the couch, placing my hands on my hips and turning around the room in a way of figuring out what I should do next.

"Venez i-" I cut myself off, realizing my mistake as soon as I made it. I felt a pit in my stomach at the lack of Kenai's nails clicking on the ground, I felt strange.

It's been like this since the accident, and I still don't know how to deal with myself.

I felt strange, and hollow. Like it was wrong for me to do anything without her being here. I relied on her so much, and spoke to her often. She knew most of the languages I did, and whenever I spoke to her I felt strangely comforted by the way that she kind of just stared at me as I spoke.

Jameson had noticed my strange behavior, and did his best to help, we were constantly on the phone with each other, whether he was on his lunch break, or I was going for a walk around the building. I couldn't break out of the habit of going for the walks at the usual times that I would go with Kenai, and so I did them nearly every day.

He did his best to help, they all did, and I really appreciated it. Both of Danny's kids, Jack and Sean, were constantly telling me their favorite memories with Kenai, and it was reassuring that she had more than just me to remember her.

But I didn't want my forget my French, and as I made my way to the kitchen to make a cup of tea for myself I started to mutter the words under my breath.

Just simple phrases at first, "Je fais du thé," and "Je pars aujourd'hui du travail." But as I moved on I found myself confessing something that I didn't even realize I was sure of, though I had a feeling that some part of me knew I was ready.

"Frank Reagan," I paused, taking a sip from my mug that was in my hand. "Je suis plus sûr de ça que je ne l'ai jamais été." I paused again, smiling brightly, and looking off into the air. My mug was nearly to hot in my hands, but I couldn't concentrate on it as I continued.

"Je sais, je sais que quand nous nous sommes rencontrés pour la première fois il y a toutes ces années, aucun d'entre nous ne s'attendait à ce que cela arrive." Oh what Frank would think to hear me now. "Je ne l'ai sûrement pas fait, mais je connais mon esprit, et j'aime ton fils. J'aimerais votre permission pour épouser Jameson."

Oh what would he say.

I shook my head, turning and setting my mug down with a loud thunk. I said it again, in English and the words seemed to echo through the empty apartment.

"Frank Reagan," A sturdy beginning, I laughed to myself. I know for a fact that Kenai would be making the most ridiculous face even though she didn't really understand me. "I am more sure of this now than I ever was. I know, I know when we first met all those years ago neither of us expected this to happen."

I never expected anything like the past few years.

I didn't think I would come back to New York, I had a steady job in London, and room for moving up the ladder, but when Frank asked, I accepted, but that wasn't the first time we had met. The first was a dark night, accompanied by freezing water and a threatening figure. Some part of me hoped to never see Frank again, but in all the good ways.

It was comically downhill after that, I met Jameson, I asked him out, and suddenly I was attending family dinner every Sunday.

"I surely didn't, but I know my mind, and I love your son. I would like your permission to marry Jameson."

It was almost like the words echoed down the hallways and into every empty crevice of the house. If I were to say the words again, they would stick to the dark patches of the flat and Jameson would stumble upon them one day.

I wouldn't keep it a secret for long.

It was words that once I spoke them one time (or in this case twice) I was sure of. More sure of anything else in my life.

I wanted to marry Jameson Reagan, and I would do it, no question.

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Translations:

"Venez i-" = "Come here."

"Je fais du thé," = "I'm making tea."

"Je pars aujourd'hui du travail." = "I have today off from work."

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A/N:

I know that this is a rather tiny update, but it's just something small that I was able to type one handed. I hope you liked it, and I'll see you next week for the usual update.