𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗦 𝗔𝗪𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗡 | ateez ✓

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖞-𝖘𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓

a/n: if you can, please play the song above! if not... then just listen to it ajakaj i think jongho's cover/song literally fits the chapter (and story at that) and i seriously cried when i read this plus listened ;-;
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❛❛ our happy ending ❜❜

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ❀ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

i once read from a book that in the moment you die— when you slowly fade in and out of consciousness and your soul slowly leaves your body, mixing in with the celestials above.

you will get flashbacks of everything that you've experienced in your life— memories that you've treasured, ones that you will have to eventually let go.

since i had the ability to remember everything in my life, i thought that once i die... i would at least have that perk to see everything flashed before my eyes.

my mother.

uncle chul.

yeonjun.

san.

jongho.

yeosang.

wooyoung.

hongjoong.

yunho.

mingi.

see them one last time.

but as i lay there, everything was blank and all i could see was one face.

park seonghwa.

everything that went through my mind was his name, and all that i could see was him.

memories that we spent together-- may it be short lived... i treasured all of those.

all the kisses and the cuddles, the feeling of his warm hand clasps in mine as we walked along the garden, telling stories and praises of i love yous.

but everything has an ending, right?

in our case, everything just ended too soon.

the biggest regret in my life was probably not being able to tell him how much i love him, how much he meant to me and how excited i was to spend the rest of my life with him.

we werent able to see our relationship bloom to its fullest, it was like a flower being deprived of its water and sunlight.

i was crying but not because of the pain in my stomach, the hot piercing pain of the blade placed in there...

but because it was dawning on me how i was really going to leave the love of my life behind.

my other half.

my soulmate.

if broke me how he was looking at me, the raw fear and worry etched on his face-- his strongly built walls crashing down.