SAVIOR [Kylo Ren]

Butterflies

Everyone was helping out, getting all the luggage aboard the Falcon. Ree was lifting crates filled with proviant aboard the ship. As she walked up the ramp Finn walked off about to get more supplies. He stopped as he noticed the blonde woman carrying a heavy box. "Should you really be carrying heavy things?" He noted the rounded belly.

"Oh right," Ree answered and put it down, "how pointless." Finn's eyebrows knitted together, pointless wouldn't be the word he would use, rather dangerous. But he didn't get time to argue because in the next moment she had extended out her arm and had made the crate fly onboard the Falcon. "It's silly, sometimes I forget I don't have to do those tedious tasks."

"Unfair," Finn mumbled under his breath and wiped away sweat beads from his forehead and continued manually lifting on the crates.

A pleased Ree continued using the Force to lift on the crates she had been assigned. Sometimes, it was bloody wonderful to have those powers, other times, she wished that she was no more special than yesterday's soup. "Ree," the General had walked up to the Falcon, "a word." She did as her General asked and stepped off the ramp to walk with Leia.

"Yes, General?" Keelor asked as they walked together. They came to a stop in a more private part of the base, where there would be no curious ears.

"Are you ready for this?" The worry in her brown eyes was clear.

"Of course." There had been no doubt in Ree's mind about the mission. She was going to do what it took to take down the Emperor.

"Let me rephrase," Leia started, "are you ready to possible meet him?" Her lips parted, she hadn't thought about the fact that she could possibly stumble across Kylo.

"I-," she breathed in sharply, "no. But I don't know if I'll ever be." Leia pressed her lips together.

"If you see him, will you try to bring him back?" The question was filled with hope and desperation. Kylo would probably try to kill his former lover. But maybe Ree could reach out to Ben, make him come back to his mother. That was what Leia hoped.

"Of course," Ree nodded, she wanted Ky back, the father of her child, "and there'll be some incentive." She looked down at her own stomach. Hopefully, the promise of raising his own daughter would finally be enough to turn him.

"Ree," Leia lowered her voice, making sure that no one could overhear, "were you ever happy together?" The question came from a mother who need hope, that her son could love, could spread happiness and joy. Because there was very little evidence of it.

The Former Commander was quiet for a moment, looking down at her rounded tummy. The former lovers had said and done mean things to each other. As Ree recalled from one of their conversations, they were both assholes and only they could love each other in a world that hated them. She still believed that, even more after coming to the Resistance where the hate towards her was as clear as day. Ree wanted her asshole back. 

"Yes, at times. The lows were dark but the highs were intoxicating." Keelor could feel tears forming in her throat, "you become addicted. Wanting that high no matter the cost. Even if that cost is your own well-being. You know, it's funny," she looked up at the sky, imagining herself up there, free of worries, "how the warning signs can feel like butterflies."

---

When Ree came into the Main Hold of the Millum Falcon, the chatter died out. Finn, Poe and Chewie sat on the sofa around a table that displayed a game of chess, even the two droids had gotten quiet. She should have been used to the fact by then but no matter for long you were deemed an outcast, the looks in your back still burned deep. "Oh, let's go quiet because the disgusting traitor is here." She pointed out their behaviour, hoping that they would apologize for their rudeness but that apology never came. "Screw this." A sigh escaped her and stormed towards the Crew Quarters, at least she wouldn't have to witness the looks and hear the whisper there.