Starborne

Chapter 13

I dressed in my Pilot’s uniform, all black stretch and lightweight coverage. They were my clothes, as I was sick of being treated as a doll: to be dressed, played with, and put back on the shelf. I wasn’t Cynabarrian, so I wanted Stefin to look at me and be reminded that I was an unknown, different, making me potentially dangerous. 

My hair went back into a tight ponytail, ready for combat. Boots laced up the back of my thighs, and my hand unconsciously went for the empty space where my hip holster usually would be. No weapons, but I didn’t need them. Not for what I had in store. 

I walked out of the bathroom, head held high, and all outward signs of weakness gone. A scalding hot shower may have soothed my outward cracks, but inside I was still smarting. Stefin turned me into a prisoner, twisting our agreement into shackles. Now that I had been freed, he would never be able to do that again. 

“Oh, honey, you look so much better!” The Queen clapped her hands together in relief and gave me a kind smile. 

“Holly, thank goodness. I was worried…” Akara was still emotional, so I mustered a reassuring expression to convey that her concern was now misplaced. 

“I feel much better, too. Thank you for being there for me.” Now was the time to begin my plan, which I'd been running over in my head for the past twenty minutes. 

I began to sniffle, allowing my eyes to well up, but not enough for any tears to spill. 

“I - I trusted him. He told me that he… loved me.” Voice break, check. Pathetic expression, check. Shaking shoulders, right on cue. 

I risked a glance through my damp lashes to see if my act was being bought, and saw with some regret that the Queen absolutely believed it. She looked at me with even more pity, and I knew an apology was at the tip of her tongue. 

“Oh, oh dear. Well, we are going to make this right, I promise you that.”

I looked over at Akara, who didn’t appear quite as moved. She lifted an eyebrow, and I raised mine back. I didn’t expect her to join my deception, but hoped she had enough faith not to out me right away. To her credit, she stayed silent, but I knew I would have some explaining to do later. 

We left the room together, the guards at the door stepping aside respectfully. All the way down the hallway I practiced looking as pathetic as possible. I was unwilling to trade my self respect for freedom, but that looked to be the only way. Seeing me broken had resonated with the Royal family; cruel or not, I had to leverage their compassion for independence. A sad, emotionally fragile human was no threat to anyone. 

Stefin would see through me immediately, I had no doubt. The deception would anger him, causing him to lash out. My new protectors would step up, and to all observers there would be a clear victim. It made my stomach roll to frame myself in such a way, but I had no other alternative. He wanted to punish me, break me, remove all fight? Fine, then that’s what he would get. 

We made it to a large pair of ornate doors that lead to the Great Hall. Pausing right before entry, the Queen held out her hand to me for support. I took it, gratefully, as real nerves had begun to leak past my curated exterior. Akara patted my back, and motioned that she was to stay outside. Although her presence calmed me, I was glad. At least her's was one friendly face I didn’t have to lie to. 

We entered the Hall, which seemed incomprehensibly large. The sweeping ceiling rose up hundreds of feet, waving and curling into large marble clouds. There was nothing ornate, no paintings, but the walls themselves were shaped so that the whole room felt like it was placed gently in the sky. The rock seemed soft, fluffy, as if made of condensation. Large windows heralded in sunlight that glistened and refracted off of the smooth contours of the Hall.