Starborne

Chapter 18

“No.” My voice cracked, dry and brittle. The fear clogged my throat, tasting like copper and making it hard to breathe. “I can’t.”

I pressed the crescent of my fingernails into my palm, the sharp pain biting into my flesh and pulling me from a state of shock.

“I- I mean, that won’t be necessary.” 

Stefin quirked a dark brow at me, narrowing his gaze suspiciously. 

“Well, it is necessary, because I have been tasked with getting to know you. You already have an array of knowledge about my life and family, so it’s only fair we even things out.”

Darn. That was incredibly logical, and if our positions were reversed, I would probably feel the same way. Unfortunately, I did not intend to break down my past traumas in front of the Prince and all his advisors. I never talked about my family, with anyone. It was a rule that I’d adhered to for years, and had served me quite fine. 

“I’ll tell you about my life now. Nothing from before.” 

Stefin must have seen the determination, or perhaps the pleading look in my eyes. Either way, he nodded shortly at me, effectively dismissing his previous question. 

“Fine.” His voice was kinder, and I wondered how pathetic I must have looked to get his mood to change so quickly. “We’ll start easier. What’s your favorite color?”

I let out a sharp laugh, my gaze shooting up to his face. 

“Seriously? You really want to know?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t. Unless that is top secret as well?” The hint of laughter had returned to Stefin’s face, and I couldn’t help but return his smile. 

“No, no, I’ll let this one out of the vault.” I tilted my head, rolling my eyes at the sarcasm. 

“It’s blue, dark blue. Like the sky at twilight, or the ocean.” I wanted to be honest, to give a real piece of myself after he was kind enough to back off earlier. “I saw an ocean up close once, not just flying over. It was the most incredible, astounding thing I have ever seen. Terrifying, unfathomable, but beautiful.”

“Like your eyes.” I looked up, shocked to silence for the second time in the conversation. Stefin seemed lost in thought, but quickly registered my surprise and his eyes widened.

“I mean, the blue. Your eyes - they’re dark blue. It was an observation, not about the ocean stuff.” His cheeks reddened, and it brought a smile back to my face. 

God, Stefin was so cute when he got embarrassed. I very often was the uncomfortable one in our conversations, so I relished the way his hands twined nervously, and the flush on his neck. 

“You like them? My eyes, I mean.” It seemed he had let something slip, a thought he intended to keep inside his head, and it emboldened me. 

I met his gaze straight on, for the first time in a while. My heart lurched at the connection, reminding me that I shouldn’t be playing games. The physical ache for him droned on incessantly, but I forced myself not to break our connection. The grey in his eyes was lighter today, almost a liquid silver. They darkened in the moments we stared at each other, with awareness and something else.

“Yes.” Stefin spoke roughly, but with earnestness. “I do.”

Suddenly he was back in control, and I didn’t even notice when I’d become the one pinned by his stare. Stefin leaned back assuredly, smug, while it was my turn to blush. 

“Um, okay.” I pleaded for the fire in my cheeks to subside, rendered self consciousness by how pleased his confession made me. 

“What about you? Favorite color?”