Shadows of Ash and Gold

chapter three

Weeks passed and nothing out of the ordinary happened. I spent most of my days in the Crestwood library, reading books and studying or talking to West on the phone. It was always empty. I suppose that was why I liked going there.

Growing up I never liked parties. Or Concerts. There was just something about big crowds that never sat right with me. I always felt out of place. I still did. So when Nyan asked me to go to the school dance with her, in a few weeks, I had no idea how to respond.

        "Come on it'll be fun. I'm really counting on us being friends," she begged her usual cheeriness in place along with a bright smile.

This was the first time Nyan had spoken to me in weeks. She had ignored me, never making eye-contact with me, only waving when I said hi to her in the halls. I guess I just wasn't cool enough to be her friend, or so I thought until now.

         "I ... I don't have anything to wear." It was a lame excuse but I didn't know what else to say. If I said no I would feel extremely guilty and if I said yes I could almost guarantee I would have the worst time of my life.

        "Don't worry about that. I have plenty of things you can wear." She smiled, her eyes filled with hope. She reminded me of a child waiting for their parents to say they can go and get ice cream. How am I supposed to say no to someone like this?

         I didn't really know how to handle her. I didn't know what to expect from her which was unnerving for me. I liked being in control. I liked knowing what I was getting into but with Nyan, I couldn't tell. She and her friends were a riddle. A maze. A mystery. Which made me all the more interested.

       "Okay." I sighed, wondering what the hell I had just done. I had wanted to ask her about her friends. The Devara. But I couldn't find any questions to ask without sounding weird.

"Great!" She unexpectedly wrapped her arms around me in an airtight bear hug. My arms hung loosely at my sides not knowing how to accept her affection. "We're going to have so much fun, Ryn." She pulled away taking a few steps towards the door. "I'll see you after classes and we'll pick a dress for you to wear tomorrow, okay?"

       I smiled. "Okay."

       She walked out of the door.

       I let out the breath I had been holding.

***

      More weeks had passed and nothing bad had happened. I was more comfortable now, the anxiety was at ease and I had formed a shell around myself. People didn't approach me. I think they got the memo that I was more of a lone wolf. Or they just genuinely didn't see me. I was just as invisible here as I was at my old school. I was okay with it, or at least I told myself I was, a part of me wanted people to notice me, but what would even be the point? There's not much to notice about me anyway.

       I was sitting down at lunch picking at my salad. Tandy and Mo sat with me along with a couple of their friends. You know those friends you only acknowledge at school? The ones you laugh with in class and talk meaningless drama with at lunch, but then after school, you cease to exist to one another? That was kind of like them.

        Nyan and her friends walked in then. I never called them The Devara. It felt ... weird. Nobody stopped to watch them anymore as they did on the first day. Most of everyone just ignored them, but not me. My eyes followed them every time they strolled Into the dining hall. I tried not to but I couldn't help myself. They were like a puzzle waiting to be cracked. And I've always loved puzzles. I liked pushing the limits of my brain and I liked it when I finally solved the puzzle, I liked that feeling of pride that boomed through me every time.