My Liege And I

Smitten

Chapter 4

Lu Ruo Xi
The Black Sword Academy

She wanted to practice for another round. Practicing always helped in keeping her mind at bay when there were so many things to think and worry about.

She raised her sword to the sky and turned around to fight against the air. Fighting with the air was the easiest thing because being a competitor against yourself was way easier than competing against someone else. And that is why she kept what she felt inside and had learnt an excellent way of hiding and not showing it.

When she saw him coming to her, she already knew something was up, and because of it her mind raged menacingly. She didn't like how Li Lian did not value the emperor. It was awful and a shame to watch.

When he was pining for her, Li Lian played around with Lance, not caring at all. A shame indeed.

Hong'er was suspicious of everyone. All his life, he had been chasing after betrayers, traitors, liars, all the people who had any leverage to hurt him. However, what good was it? If only he knew that the biggest threat was not in the world but right beside him, more so his heart.

The other day, she saw Lance and Li Lian kissing on the deck. Of course she wasn't going to say anything about it because she was not that kind of person, but it pained her heart to see Hong'er being made a fool, not knowing that the woman he was in love with was the curse in his life.

Thousands of letters were sent to Ruo Xi, telling her how he was in love, how he would do anything for Li Lian and how he would die for her even if he had to. Yet if the same was demanded from Li Lian, would she do it for him? Ruo Xi doubted it.

Why was life so unfair? Why was it that when it came to love, people always fell in love with the people who were not meant for them?

"Why are you fighting against yourself, don't you have someone to play around with?"

The previous night, he was angry at her, stating their friendship was history. However, this morning he had demanded her to practise with him, having forgiven her quite easily.

Hong'er didn't realise it, but he had a weak heart for those he cared for. Because they were few and when he cared, he did it with all of his heart, unconditionally, with no compromising.

She smiled sadly. Her heart ached because of the shadow behind his eyes. She knew the clouds of pain behind that. "What has happened? Did you fight again?"

He faked a laugh. "You know me after all. Is it possible to hide anything from you?" He shifted, moving from feet to feet. "I don't know what to do. I mean I thought I and Li Lian were something, but like always, my desires are bigger than what she can offer. Her feelings for me are a fantasy of mine, rather than a reality." His next words were spoken under his breath, a mist of hurt in them. "She doesn't like me, no way is it closer to what I feel, and I feel like a loser for it." He rained a few curses and instructed his court lady to hand to him his smoking pipe.

He smoked now. It was a new thing for Ruo Xi.

She watched him letting the eunuch light the inside material, then Hong'er skillfully tapped the pipe and inhaled the smoke, thereafter looking into the sky as he puffed it out.

If only she could hit Li Lian until she woke her up. What made her blind to what was before her, Ruo Xi couldn't figure it out. However, if Ruo Xi did not want to be the villain in the story, she needed to be a calm and agreeable person, living by "see and hear no evil".

This is what she hated, he was always telling her his heartache and qualms, breaking apart before her just so she could put his broken pieces together for him, then watch him go back to his lover as a whole person, ready for Li Lian to do the damage all over again.