I Hope Forever.

It Has To Be

Koa-
We are currently walking in a park not far from his house. He was walking in circles blowing out air while looking back and forward between me and the ground. "Why did you go there? Why didn't you just call me?" He asked now looking directly at me. I shrugged, "I heard you planned to leave school. I wanted to talk to you and make sure you weren't being serious.Right?" He nodded and folded his arms. "You can't be serious Lucas, we're about to graduate soon why stop now?" He shrugged. "Is it me? If it's me, I'll leave you alone okay. I'll make sure to not say anything to you and to try-

"Conventional" he whispered causing me to stop mid sentence.

"What"

"You honestly think I'm leaving school, only because of what happened between us?" He asked once again in disbelief. He nodded and walked closer to me. "Koa don't come back here, don't think of looking for me. Don't ask around for me and don't think of me. Just Live the life you want. Do what makes you happy, okay?" He suggested before trying to walk away before I grabbed his arm.

"Why are you saying this? Did I do something? Is it because of that day? Fine Lucas I won't love you okay! I won't think about loving you ever again. But I can't simply forget you, or our friendship we had!" He snatched his arm and moved closer making me move back.

"What happened that day was a mistake. I-

He stopped noticing tears coming down my face. He sighed loudly then ran his hand over his face. "Koa nothing will come from loving me. I told you already that-

"I don't care what you told me. We both were emotional that day. What you said was-

"The truth"

"A mistake" I finished before he grabbed me.

"WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING TO ME?!" He yelled causing people to watch as they walk by. "BECAUSE I DONT CARE TO..I LOVE YOU!" I shouted back before pulling him into a tight hug. I waited for him to hug but sadly that never came. "'Harm, hate, miserable, toxicity, depression. It has ways to manipulate people to get what it wants.'" As soon as he said those words I slowly let him go. He watched as I slowly let go and back away from him.

"Lucas mother wants you." Lola said walking up to us. He sighed and nodded she then looked at me and saw I was crying. "Koa are you-

"You said it yourself, it only brings hate, makes you miserable, brings toxicity and depression. Even knows how to manipulate, to get what it wants. How is that any different from me. Ever since we met I've done nothing but use you and hurt you. If that's truly how you feel then leave and never come back. I never wanted more and never will. I truly wish to have nothing to do with you" He said coldly, soon walking away causing me to fall m, cry my eyes out. Lola came to me and sat down before hugging me.

"It's okay to cry when someone hurts you, but it's not okay to cry for long"
-
I soon found my way home now laying in bed as I curl into a ball and continue to cry my eyes out. Thinking this can't go on forever, and tomorrow will be a new day.

It has to be..

~~~~~

'Now I just try to look back on everything I've done and said. To be honest I regret thousands and wish I handled it different. But one thing I regret the most was falling in love with him.'