𝗧𝗪𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗬 𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦

ch.vii:gazer! gazer!

CHAPTER SEVEN 🐛

VON:
Storytelling is a beautiful thing. Okay I'm just watching the sun and I got a little bit too lost in the way the heat sucks you up and holds you there meditating in the sky. Have you ever stared at the sun long enough to know what I mean? It's like the same feeling as laying on the bed with your head hanging off and the blood is rushing, there's a warm sensation but a numbness to it. If you do it long enough and look away, you won't see anything but stars until your eyes adjust.

The same thing happens to me when I like some body. I be around them long enough and all I'll see is stars. But, I'm a sun-gazer so I'm always aware that once I look away, I know for sure what's happening.

Someone knocked on my bedroom door at my grandparents' house— it was Ari.

"Hey Telli." She peeked her head in. "I can't believe you just left in the middle of the night like that. But, at the same time, I'm surprised you stayed as long as you did." She laughed, siting in the chair.

"I was tryna be helpful."

"To who?"

"Javi."

"Since when are you and Javi friends? Didn't you say he was like a blank sheet of paper?"

"I was wrong. And don't tell nobody I said that." I laughed, "I'm sure y'all ain't miss my boring ass anyway."

"I did." She emphasized.

"Did anybody else?"

"Oh, you wanna know if Hakeem Ph.D noticed." She tooted her lips, "I'll have you know that his ass was gone by lunch." She laughed, "He found out you bounced and he bounced. Guess who was mad about it?"

I scrunched my brows all the way down to my eye lids, "who?"

"Your so called bestie. Her li'l ass was all types of pissy after he left. Just gave me bad vibes."

"Come on, she wasn't mad about him leaving she was mad that I left and ain't tell her. See?" I said, opening our message thread to show her, "She had an attitude already last night."

"Mm." She said, tooting her lips even harder. I rolled my eyes at her because I know she doesn't like Laya so she probably reading into it too much. "Well, anyway, all I'm saying is you gotta start trusting me more and that bitch a whole lot less, you heard me?"

"That's what you came over here for?"

"No. I never got to give you your bday present. I ain't want to do it while it was so many people around. And it's been busy around here."

"Where it's at?"

She got up with a smile, "follow me" she sang, opening up my bedroom door. We walked down the long hall first passing the bedroom where my grandad watches the game. It's painted black and has gold and royal purple décor. The walls are lined with baseball caps he's been gifted over the years from all the people he's mentored or fathered/grandfathered. They're mostly college hats and some are random.

The next room we passed was our grandparents' bedroom, it was farther towards the front of the house, right across from the main bathroom.

We passed the living room, walking through the kitchen to exit through the side door. There was Ari's Jeep parked in the grass, but I didn't see anything else. She was cheesing, standing up against her neon pink Jeep. "So," she started. It was dark outside, the clouds were fading into the night and you could still see a little bit of purple behind them from the sunset. "I set up a little pallet for us." She pressed her lips together, and began moving to the other side of the truck.

I followed her. On the thick yellowing grass sidelining the house, she had set up a large blanket with her signature large pink tote on the edge of it filled with snacks. She'd put pillows and candles for light. And in the center of the blanket was the thing that nearly took my breath. It was tall and black, angled straight up to the stars. It was made of a sleek black stained steel and it had my name painted on it. I stepped onto the blanket after taking off my house-shoes and reached out, laying my hands gently on the contraption that looked and smelled brand new. "I love it." I said simply, kneeling down to match my eye with the small circular glass covered hole, I could see the moon clear as day.

"I know it was a long time ago," she started, "but I was always hurt about what happened to the telescope granny bought you when we were kids. I been telling myself since that day that I would have enough money to buy you a even better one when I grew up." She laughed, "Well, I guess I finally grew up."

I got up from my place on the blanket and walked over to hug her. Wet sat on the blanket taking turns looking into the telescope, pointing out constellations and lying about seeing galaxies and other planets just like we used to do as kids in my window after everybody else had gone to sleep. I could feel Ari watching me, "What's up?" I asked her, my eye still plastered to the glass of the telescope.

She said, "You're such a good human." Her voice was reminiscent of my grandmother's when she got like this; sentimental and reflective. She is an old soul. "You're about to have so much good coming back to you. It's like, I can see that shit running after you like that man in get out when whats-his-name was standing on the grass and ol' dude was running super fast." She laughed, "except, he aint turning. He about to keep coming towards you and he gone tackle you down to the ground and beat the shit out'chu."

"That don't sound appealing, dawg." I laughed, watching her.

She shook her head, " It's gone feel like that because it's gone be so uncomfy for you, Vontell. You're going to get that good shit wether you like it or not though. It's the karma you earned and you deserve that."

"I felt that too." I sat down, still looking at the stars though. "You remember when I moved with Rodney? I was really feeling just what you described, but you know what happened. Shit, the nigga really did tackle me and beat me down to the grown that year. It was a life changing experience though. For sure."

"How you feeling now though?"

"Bleh."

"Bleh?"

I nodded. It's true. I don't really feel shit right now— haven't since I came back home. It's like a numb feeling.

"Von." She called me, breaking me out of the space i'd zone out into. "You getting back into your creative bag this year. Actually tomorrow."

I laughed, "Tomorrow?"

"Yes. I remember you said that getting out into the world was really influential to your creative process. You said that in Chloé's documentary. So, we're gonna take a trip. You ain't got no job and I'm gonna call in sick. We gassing up this big girl," she gestured towards her pink jeep, "And we in these streets. On these highways and in these byways."

"What if I already have plans for the week? You didn't even ask."

"Do you have plans Vontell?"

"No."

"Good. This will be good."

This will be good.

+ this will be good

👍🏾

*gazer gazer, spiritual so in the building man SIMPLE

[p.03.20.2023]