MATEO || bxb

- 15 -

| Camden |

There was a knock at my door.

Mateo had been here for the last couple days, but I hadn't really seen him that much. Adrian had been with him the whole time and whenever he joined us for family time like dinner, my parents could tell something was wrong with him so they were practically doting on him.

I'd been asked to work a little extra as well with someone else calling in sick, that someone else being my brother so he could stay home with Mateo. I didn't mind though. It meant a little extra money for me, and I could give Mateo some space. I know after he took care of me last summer I'd needed some space, mostly because I was embarrassed. I don't know if space is necessarily what Mateo wanted but I didn't really have a choice in giving it to him so that's just how things worked out.

I keep thinking about what he said about my eyes though. How he could remember such a small detail so intricately. I tried to remember when I first noticed his eyes, but I've had my crush on him for so long I have no idea when it was. Most of the moments I noticed I liked something about him have kind of become a blur or merged into one.

I have some images in my memory though of moments when he was most prominent in the forefront of my mind. I saw him take his shirt off at a football game in the summer once, just a game between him and some friends in the park I'd followed my brother to. I was 14 I think, and I kept staring at his body so much that by the end I didn't even know who'd won. He hadn't even started working out properly at that point, he was only 15, but I was still mesmerised apparently.

And it's not one moment but a hundred little moments of when he looks at me and I wonder if he sees in me what I see in him. Sometimes his gaze makes me feel like I'm all there is, and it makes me desperately wish that I was all there is for him.

Another knock at my door and I was pulled out of my thoughts.

I rushed over and found just the guy I'd been thinking about on the other side.

"Hi," I said.

"Hi," he replied. "Not bothering you, am I?" he asked. He could never bother me and I wanted to tell him as such but held back.

"No, course not. What's up?" I let him into my room.

"Umm to be honest, I just wanted to say thank you for the other night. I was obviously very out of it and uh yeah you really helped. So, thank you." He looked a little sheepish and I thought it was so cute to see him looking so shy.

"You're welcome. I'm glad I could help then. You feeling better?" I asked.

He nodded. The sight of the signet ring on his pinkie caught my eye for a moment as he went to brush his hair back with his hands. "Always end up feeling better when I'm here. Good to be away from home."

"Well, this is practically your home anyway. I don't think any of us would ever want you gone. Actually, felt a little quieter in the house with you away the past year," I told him honestly wanting to make sure he knew how wanted he is.

"Thanks Cam," he said as he grabbed my bicep for a moment and squeezed. It made my heart stop for a second and I never wanted to breathe anything but Mateo in again. "I was wondering... Well Ade's gone to work, and we haven't hung out just us two in a while. I was gonna go on a walk to clear my head a bit. D'you wanna come with me by any chance?"

"Yes. I mean yeah, sure." Be cool Cam. Don't be too eager. No one likes that.

"Great!"

"We should have lunch first though," I suggested. "Shouldn't we?" I'd been so lost in my thoughts lately that I was forgetting to eat and right now I was starving.