MATEO || bxb

- 37-

| Camden |

I woke up with a sense of freedom I didn't know you could wake up to. It was like there was a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders for the first time in a long while. I found myself feeling strangely happy. But maybe it isn't so strange for me to be happy considering everything that happened last night. I still felt a little embarrassed about crying when I did, and I could only hope it hadn't made things too unbearably awkward for Mateo. I was really grateful though for the way that he had reacted. He was very kind.

And of course, we'd both confessed our love for one another, my confession a little bit more dramatic than his, though I don't blame him. I didn't mean to go off on a tangent, but I got started and then I couldn't stop. I hadn't even planned to tell him that I loved him yet, only that I was falling for him, but then the words just leapt out of me, and I had no control over them. I guess it was the right time though.

"Mmm good morning," I heard Mateo say from beside me. I guess I'd woken him up when I turned around. His arms were around me and I'd wanted desperately to see his face, but I guess I wasn't as gentle in moving as I'd hoped.

"Morning," I replied reaching out my hand and running a finger along his cheek and his jaw and his lips, tracing his face hoping to commit it all to memory.

"Oh shit," he said. Huh?

"What?" I asked confused.

"I totally fucked up your neck. I hadn't even realised I was doing it. Sorry, I hope you don't mind," he said.

"My neck?" I said to myself sitting up and grabbing my phone and opening my camera to see what he'd done. I found purple bruises covering one side of my neck. I looked like I'd been in a fight. "Oh shit."

"I'm sorry. Are you upset?" Mateo asked.

I just chuckled. "No, I kinda like hickeys. These are a bit dramatic though and it's summer. Gonna be interesting to try and cover them. Ah fuck it I'll just pretend like they don't exist and hope no one says anything."

"You sure?" Mateo asked.

"It's not like anyone can do anything about it," I said. "Maybe you could just put them in more inconspicuous places next time?"

"Yeah. Deal. So you like hickeys huh?"

"Yeah..." I said sure my face was getting flushed. "They're hot aren't they?'

"Seeing the ones I gave you on your neck... yeah they're pretty fucking hot," he said already leaning over to kiss me.

"Mmm Mateo, my breath probably stinks," I said embarrassed, though his didn't exactly smell any better...

"Oh, it does. I just don't care," he said cheekily and then very closely kissing me all over my face.

"So grosssss. Get off!" I was laughing as I said it. Damn it, he made me happy even when we both smelled.

Eventually we got out of bed and got ready for the day. We weren't staying at Mateo's long and were planning on heading back to mine soon as we had plans with Adrian to go into town today.

I put on what clothes I had packed yesterday and stared awkwardly at the jockstrap on the floor that I needed to pack. Now that my adrenaline and excitement had died down, I was seriously embarrassed about having worn that thing. I wasn't sure I would have ever had the confidence to wear it again. I'd bought it last year when I was seeing Jonas but even then, I'd been a little apprehensive about it and never ended up wearing it for him. I mean it did get me almost-laid in the end, with Mateo, but still. Maybe I'll put it on again for Mateo's birthday or something but definitely not any time sooner.