MATEO || bxb

- 18 -

| Camden |

When Mateo told me he had once tried to end his life, my heart split in two. I tried not to be overbearing in how much I asked him if he was okay because I didn't want to annoy him, but I would be lying if this wasn't a constant worry, I would always carry with me now. But he assured me he was good these days and I made him promise me that he would tell me if he was feeling particularly bad. I was glad my brother had been there for him all this time and glad I could be there for him now as well.

The next couple days passed by in a blur. I hung out with Mateo and Adrian 24/7 and took every opportunity I had to hold Mateo's hand. Adrian seemed relieved when he had finally noticed.

"Oh thank God. Please tell me you guys told each other," he said. We'd been walking somewhere the same day Mateo came over and I just wanted to hold his hand, so I'd reached out and grabbed it.

"Yeah, we did. Idiot. You knew we both liked each other and didn't say anything," Mateo said pushing Ade enough that he stumbled on the edge of the pavement.

"You two would have been mad at me if I just shouted about your crushes to each other!" Ade argued.

It was half true. Although knowing Mateo liked me too would have made things far less scary.

Later that night, we were watching a movie downstairs, all three of us. I hadn't kissed Mateo since he first came over earlier that day and I suddenly wanted to then. It was night time and we'd turned the lights off in the room but the TV's light projected right onto Mateo's face like a spot light and he looked so beautiful. I was sat beside him leant into his shoulder and I reached out with my hand and tilted his face toward me and pecked him before hiding my face in the crook of his neck. He squeezed my hand, because we were always holding hands now, and leant his cheek on top of my head.

"You two are sickening. I beg you God," Adrian said shutting his eyes and clasping his hands together in prayer. "Please make sure I never walk in on those two doing anything lest I bleach my eyes out."

Me and Mateo both laughed and then we all went back to the movie. I wanted all my nights to be like this.

But that night was over before I knew it and the next day I spent packing everything I needed because of course I would only pack the day before a big trip. Mateo had decided to sleep in Adrian's bed that night because it was only our first night dating and he didn't want to sleep in bed with me until we told my parents because he didn't want to feel like he was doing something behind their back. I understood but I found myself missing him when I laid in bed, but I actually fell asleep quite early and had dreams of Mateo and I cuddling.

Mateo helped me pack but then he got dangerously close to my underwear drawer, so I told him to go hang out with Adrian while I did the rest. Then we had dinner together as a family, eating whatever was left in the fridge, and I wondered when a good time would be to tell mum and dad that Mateo and I were a thing now, because there was no way I was not having him in my bed tonight. I just wanted to feel his warmth beside me.

"Umm... mum. Dad," I called. I'd already talked to Mateo earlier about wanting to tell my parents today and he told me he was happy for me to do it whenever it felt right. Well, it felt kind of right now, while we were all sat around together creating whatever monstrous food combinations that we could think of like dad who was eating hotdog sausages with mashed potatoes cut up onions and mustard. Of all the condiments he chose mustard... We had to try and finish of those last bits of food in the fridge before we went away.

Mum had grapes and cheese which wouldn't be too bad if it wasn't for the can of tuna as well and hot sauce on the side. "What is it honey?" mum asked.

I looked down at my own plate for a second finding that last remaining bits of courage I needed in the image of my plate piled high with an overindulgent number of fish fingers with a bowl of custard. The eleventh Doctor was right, they were good together.