This Feeling

Chapter 8

"Whenever I'm broken, you make me feel whole (ooh-whoa)
Whenever I'm lonely, you're there for my soul (ooh-whoa)
Wherever you are, girl, that's where I call my home
Whenever you doubt it, I'll be lettin' you knowWhoa, girl, I want to be dancin' with you forever
You see through the storm and take me as I am
Baby, it's magic any time that we're together
I make I just love you and hold you for my hand."
Burna Boy ft. Ed Sheeran "For My Hand"

Nicole

"Do you really want to do this to yourself?"

"What are you trying to say?"

"It can be really draining having to stay with someone knowing they're going to die. When they do, you're left alone and heartbroken, struggling to keep it together." It might be better to get out while you can."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course Nicole."

"With your wedding less than a week away, if you and Mario found out that he has terminal cancer, would you still marry him or walk away?"

"I honestly don't know what I would do, but I feel like my heart would tell me to stay."

"So, how can you ask me to leave Kyle? After all of the good memories we've shared. Someone I was thinking about marrying, being the father to our children. I can't even think of walking away and acting like he's just someone that I used to know."

"Okay. I'm sorry for being insensitive. I understand your position and I'm going to support you any way I can. You will get through this."

"Thank you."

"I love you baby."

"I love you too Mom."

The conversation I had with my mother, last night in her kitchen when Kyle and I went over for dinner, keeps replaying in my head. I know from the outside it may look like I'm out of my mind for sticking beside Kyle, but that's one of the things I would do for love.

It's been exactly 21 days since I found out the truth about his health.

I won't lie, I've been pushing deadlines back just to spend every minute with him. He finally got sick of me.

I'm just kidding, but he convinced me to go about my business. I think I'm strong enough to get back on track and not cry when I think about the situation.

Every day I wake up afraid. I don't want to come home and find him dead or get a call from the hospital that he's gone.

We haven't told anyone. It's really not something you can spring up on someone. It can really f*ck with your head when you really try not to think about it. It just occupies your mind and leaves no room for anything else.

One thing that has brought me happiness lately is ring shopping with Daniel. He wants to propose to Eva tonight. It's been so hard keeping it from her when we hang out, but I've been able to hold on to this secret.

I'm meeting him right now to give him the ring. It's so beautiful. I literally would have just dropped it off to him at his office, but he insisted on thanking me with breakfast. He really didn't need to do that, but since it's Waffle House, I don't mind.

"You really didn't have to do this."

"Nah, I wanted to say thank you for all the help."

"You excited about tonight?"