Vanished

Friendly Conspiracy

It had been a month since I came back from Boston. A month of lying to my family and everyone I knew. All I'd been able to tell them was that I found Austin and that we're staying in touch but that it was complicated. Like that wasn't the understatement of the year.

I spent most of my time moping around my apartment, to the point where it seemed like Selma got aggravated with me. I must've interfered with her nap time schedule or something. She meowed louder and more frequently than normal. I even think she glared at me one night when I made an extra large batch of cupcakes. That is, if cats can actually glare.

It was difficult to settle back into my normal everyday routine after having been on the run with Austin and Alex for a few days. I was jumpy and hesitant about things I'd taken for granted for years. Like leaving the office late at night by myself, or walking down a crowded street where I could feel people following behind me.

Being in Boston had been like stepping into a real life action movie for a few days, and then coming back home expecting to just step back out. Like nothing had happened. To continue my life the way it had been before, like a boring documentary.

And I was boring, I knew that. I'd never been a thrill seeker. I lived in a nice apartment in an excellent neighborhood, and I'd been satisfied with that. Happy even. But living alone with a cat, baking cupcakes for fun, and spending most of my spare time with my five-year-old niece didn't exactly scream interesting person. It was more like lonely cat lady alert.

I let out a slow breath and tried to get my focus back on the sales report. But my mind kept drifting back to Austin, and how alone I felt without him. I even missed Alex and Bear.

Being able to focus on my work never used to be a problem for me. I thrived on organization and reliability, but recently I'd had a hard time with it.

And the main part of the problem was I missed Austin.

If given the chance, I'd gladly step right back into that action movie just for a chance to spend some more time with him. I'd take the scary moments and the worry and anxiety over being alone and missing him every day of the week.

The only good thing about the situation was that Austin kept his promise. He stayed in touch, and that was what helped me make it through the first weeks back in Willow. But the frequency of his messages declined as the time passed. I recognized he was just as frustrated about our situation as I was, or probably more, which was sad.

I wanted to be there for him, in person. I'd even offered to come to Kansas, but he told me it wasn't safe. While I understood, I didn't like it.

At first, Austin had appeared to be mostly upset and frustrated about having to start all over again, but as the weeks passed, he became withdrawn and quiet. I recognized the symptoms of depression and hated that I couldn't do, or be more, for him.

Keeping quiet and lying to everyone around me proved to be more difficult than I'd expected it'd be, and I felt lonelier than ever. I got an idea of what it must be like to live like Austin and Alex. And that realization brought a whole new appreciation for them. And a whole new worry.