THERAPY

10 | feelings

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f e e l i n g s

LUNE

↣ "CAN I GET the 'Good Stuff' platter?"

          The waitress, Darla, scribbled my order onto her notepad. She turned to Ario expectantly, "I'll have the same thing."

     "Fantastic, I'll be back with your order," she beamed with a customer service grin. Darla used so much enthusiasm, it looked like she was skipping away instead of walking. I remembered my own job back at Juniper's Kitchen. Did they know where I was? Did they think I suddenly quit? Will there be a job for me to go back to? I started to squirm. All along, I was too worried about my life changing by staying here that I didn't realize my life back home would also change even if I came back.

     Ario spoke, his voice low that it didn't startle me from my downward spiral. "Tell me about your life back in Glendale," my eyes drifted to watch his lips form the words. Then I noticed a faint scar along the bow of his lips, something I wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't looking hard enough. But somehow I was.

     My face twisted in thought, I questioned what else I hadn't noticed. First about Femi, and now Ario. Does he have more scars? Where did they come from? His knit, warm gray-green sweater had fallen past his neck. There were light freckles splattered across his pronounced collarbone and I wondered if they dived down his entire torso. I jolted from my train of thought when a hand pulled the collar back up his neck.

          "I take it, you don't want to talk about Glendale," he muttered, his hand staying where he'd adjusted the neck of his shirt.

     It took a few seconds for the daze to wear off, "W—ell, no, I mean, yeah? I do want to." I didn't. But he caught me staring. I had to say something, quick, or the next topic would've been why I was staring. And I didn't have an answer, not one I was willing to give. "What about you? Where do you live?"

     That was NOT what I wanted to say. His expression was shocked, not expecting my question, but neither did I. "I'm in Phoenix," he answered finally. "You know — I almost thought you hated me. But I guess, even you can't hate me," Ario teased.

     Of course, our outing was going too well. Something had to happen, and it was this crap. I stared at him speechless, unsure if he was joking or that was the insanity talking. Half of me wanted to kick the arrogance out of him, the other half wondered where he thought he could tease me like that. I grimaced when he wiggled an eyebrow, "I don't think this is much better than you killing me."

     He laughed. And I mean it in the most disgusting way when I say that seeing him smile so wide made my stomach feel light. Like I was on a rollercoaster that made my organs feel out of place, the good kind of way. I wanted to puke, to get this feeling out of me. But the fact I shouldn't engage with people like him was overshadowed by a curiosity to explore the feeling. "Do you miss your family back home?"

     The corners of his mouth shifted, and suddenly, I could tell he was forcing them up. "Don't we all," his eyes crinkled in a wince. I did. So much that I was chronically homesick; that I only allowed myself to think about it in the safety of the room I was staying in. Because I knew that if I thought about it too much, I'd cry.