Kiss on my list (Joel Miller x reader)

for the first time

For the first time- Mac Demarco

It was 2012.

Nine years ago, my Johnny died in my arms. I wake up empty every day. The only thing getting me up in the mornings was my friend, Tess.

I get up and get dressed, I put my wedding ring on before leaving.

I was on laundry duty. I used to do all of Johnny and I's laundry. It helped with stress.

I get out to the town and start working on people's laundry. It was difficult seeing little kids' clothes. Those poor things have been born into this disgusting earth, with those clicker things.

Tess had come up to me. "Hey there, stranger." She says. I laugh. "Hey, pretty lady." I grin at her. "I just came by to get my clothes." She says.

"Of course, here you are, Miss 65." I say, reading her tag number and handing her basket over.

"Me and my partner have no clue what we are doing for dinner. Do you have any suggestions?" She asks.

"You guys can come over to my place, I really need the company since Roger moved in with that lady across from us." I say. Roger was an ex bunk mate of mine.

"What are you making?" She asks. "Stovetop steak, since im not allowed a grill." I say. "Yum, look at you, five star Chef, I'll go let Joel know." She says. I feel my heart sink.

Did she say Joel? No, no, she probably said Joe, or Roe? OK, no, she definitely said Joel. Fuck.

Maybe there is another person named Joel. I noticed I missed some of Tess's shirts. I fold them up and make my way to her. She was talking to someone but I couldn't see them

"Hey, tess, sorry I forgot there were some shirts I missed." I say. "Oh, that's fine, oh um, Joel, this is y/n, y/n this is -"

"Y/n?" Joel asks, turning towards me. "You know each other?" She asks.

"We went to school together." I say. "Oh well, that's sweet. There is no need for an introduction then." Tess smiles. I force a smile.

Joel looks at me before going back to tess. "Right, Joel, since we couldn't decide on dinner, y/n offered to have us over." Tess says. Joel looks at me. I nod at him and give a small forced smile.

"Well, I have to finish washing clothes, I'll see you guys tonight?" I ask. "Of course. Did you need us to bring anything?" Tess asks.

"No. Unless you want to bring something." I shrug. "All right, see you tonight." Tess says. I smile at her.

I get back to my work, and I deliver clothes. I get to the last batch of clothes. It was number 128.

"128.. 128.. who the hell?" I whisper to myself. I walk up to one of the soldiers. "Hey, do you know who 128 is in laundry? Cause I normally only have 127 baskets, but with an extra one, I have zero clue." I say.

"Uh, hold on, Maxwell!" The soldier yells.

"Yeah?" He says. "Do you know who 128 is on laundry?" He asks. "Uh, yeah, that's that weird dude, I'll get you his address." Maxwell says.

I sat for a few minutes before they gave me an address. I pick up the basket and make my way.

I find the door and knock on it. "Who, is it?" A rough voice asks.

" Is this 128 for laundry?" I ask.

The door opens, and I am met face to face with Joel. Why is he everywhere?

"Funny bumping into you again, here you go." I hand him the basket. I go to walk away before I feel a hand on my shoulder. I tense up.

I turn to face him. He looks at me. His face ridden with guilt. "Listen I'm sorry about what I did, I know it happened forever ago, I just wanted to let you know, a day doesn't go by where I regret losing you, even if we didn't get together, losing my bestfriend hurt a lot."  He says.