Equilibrium

Chapter 7 - Calm before the storm

They sat at the kitchen table the next morning, each with fresh strawberries and banana slices, perfectly hot and seasoned oatmeal (brown sugar for Zen that Chay kept just for him), and a cup of tea. Zen could wait until he left to grab a coffee. Chay had on pink silken pajama shorts, and Zen had on his pants from the day before.

The fairy noticed Zen's pensiveness and asked him about it, with one foot pushing carelessly against the side of the table. And, with the mood (mostly) changed to friend-mode, and his varied thoughts eating him alive, Zen spilled his guts to Chay about Kevyn.

"You have to see him," Chay said immediately when Zen was done, as he put his leg down and leaned forward.

"But he's..."

"The biggest crush you've ever had?" Chay finished. "Bigger than Sandra, and you were married to her."

"Infuriating," Zen answered, refusing to process what Chay had just said.

"It sounds like he was very respectful of your needing space, so - you must be holding on to the past if the first word you use to define him is 'infuriating'."

"The past was a big deal," Zen countered. "But yeah, I guess I'm resentful - of how he made me feel, and...how he wasn't entirely wrong. About me, about everything." A pause. "Not that he was entirely right either."

"Now we're getting somewhere. Just, go on the downhill hiking you planned on and you'll talk about the deeper stuff when it feels right."

"Downhill biking and hiking are two different things," Zen said. Chay gave him a teasing smirk. "You're right, Chay. We don't need to have a serious whatever right away. Now that he's made an appearance in my life, I do want to keep him in it if I can. Shit, I'm getting sweaty palms just thinking about it." Zen rubbed the fingers of each hand against his palms.

"Ah, the sweaty palms of love," Chay mused. Zen laughed, feeling a little lighter. "We're connected," the fairy went on, scrolling through his phone. "Ah, he just liked the picture of us at the bar."

Zen reeled at this news and then felt guilty for being on a date when things weren't settled between them. What was wrong with him? He was still an asshole. 'Sorry I never texted you, I was too busy hooking up with Chay.' He did know why, though. He was running away - or trying to.

"And here's his most recent photo," Chay continued, passing his phone to Zen. It was the steak from the big celebration night. And one of him and Rob.

He scrolled down to older photos. Not many lately, but it looked like he had a good time at his last duty station. Lots of friends, and a couple of boyfriends over the past year - one of the Fire Folk, one human. Okay, he should stop internet stalking him now.

"Thanks, Chay, for everything," Zen said and handed the phone back. "Including the impromptu therapy session. And, I am sorry to lay this on you the morning after."

"Friends first," Chay insisted. Zen knew Chay meant what he said - Fairies can't lie. But there was still hurt in his eyes. It made Zen wonder if Chay felt what Zen was thinking. That maybe, when they put down the relationship this time, they won't be picking it up again.

When he left, Chay gave him a necklace. It was enchanted and no doubt worth quite a bit. He knew better than to argue when it came to Chay and gifts and took it without argument.

~

Zen texted Kevyn once he got home that day with, "Would you like to go hiking with me and my friends tomorrow?" Tomorrow was Saturday. Not only did he want to see them all - his friends, and Kevyn. He would have to pull off some shady stuff soon, and he could use a bit of normalcy beforehand.