The Unwanted One

Chapter 9

"No-no no no. You can't fucking say that to me." I screamed in utter disbelief. I refuse to be gaslighted again. Ethan had tricked me once before and I wouldn't let Carter do the same.

"Brynn-"

"No! Stop fucking talking!" I yelled, tears rolling down my cheeks. I shook my head furiously mumbling curse words. This couldn't be happening again.

The stinging in my arms was becoming unbearable and the heat of the situation was sinking in. I was now in searing pain. I knew I wouldn't be able to finish cutting myself now that i've been stopped and brought back to reality. All I want is to leave this fucked up life but I can't even be given that glory.

Carter lifted my frail body over his shoulder and brought me to Caleb's car. Ethan was in the passenger seat wearing a horrified expression. I was placed gently in the back and buckled up as if I'd make a run for it. As much as i'd love to do that, my bloody arms was taking up all my thinking at the moment.

"Ethan drive my car back home while I take her to the hospital." Carter ordered. I was in no right state of mind to disagree. My vision began blacking out and soon their clear voices turned into muffles. I could feel my eyes getting heavy but a heavy slap to the cheek brought me back.

"Don't you fucking dare fall asleep." Carter threatened. I don't know how or when this happened, but we were already at the hospital and Ethan was nowhere to be seen. I could have sworn he was just here a second ago.

My brain was going in and out. It felt like I was in a fast forwarding movie. Next thing I knew I was being carried bridal style down the hospital hallway.

"Where are we." I mumbled having no recollection of what was going on. Who was even carrying me right now?

All seemed to black out from there. The last thing I remember is waking up in a hospital bed with some needle stuck into my arm.

Once my eyes fluttered open, my gaze set upon the still figure sitting in the corner of the room I was given.

"You're awake." Ethan announced.

"Didn't think I was sleeping."

"Even when your in a hospital bed practically dying you still have to be a bitch don't you." He scoffed while taking a seat in the lone chair across from me. I folded my arms across my chest holding back the outburst I so desperately wanted to unravel on him. Being in a hospital surrounded by strangers held me back; not to mention I was physically and mentally drained.

"Whatever Ethan. I'm so fucking tired of this hot and cold bull shit act. I get it, you hate me, so let me fucking die. Let me fucking run away, let me escape."

He looked stunned, as if what I said was so far fetched. As if I had no reason to feel the way I felt and to try to kill myself. Like the life i've been living has been rainbows and flowers up until now. It made me want to choke him until he was the one dead and not me.

He finally responded after moments of silence.
"I didn't save you, Carter did."

"You stopped me from running away and I saw your face when I almost died, you looked livid. You looked scared for me. Almost like you cared."

"The only reason I would possibly care that you died was for the sake of my girlfriend. She'd be a wreck and then we'd have no time for sex."

The sincerity in my brothers voice disgusted me so heavily I attempted to get up and punch him, but my lack of health dragged me down. I felt a sear of pain the minute I moved my arms.

"You're fucking revolting." I seethed, holding back the tears that my cut up arms caused.

Before Ethan got the chance to respond Carter walked through the door but halted mid step. His tense, stressed face turned into a relieved and happy one. It almost made me crack a smile the way his body instantly lightened up. Nobody's ever reacted that way to me besides Avery.

Carter rushed over to my side and engulfed me in a hug. I instantly stiffened beneath his touch. Every time he's touched me has burned with hatred and resulted in pain, so why did this time make my heart flutter and my cheeks burn red? Why did I want to hold onto him until I lost my strength to do so. This was the first time i've been hugged in years. It was a small, yet significant act of affection that never failed to make people feel wanted and appreciated. I couldn't help but burst a smile at the thought I finally participated in a normal act of love. I was turning normal.

Despite my efforts in extending our hug, I felt Carter pushing me away almost like I was a disease and that rush of happiness I once felt plummeted. His icy glare returned and I knew loving Carter was gone.

"Why the fuck did you try to kill yourself?"

I huffed a short, obnoxious laugh. Nothing angers me more than the fact that my brothers try so hard to pretend that they treat me normally and that I have no reason to try and end my life. For the first time ever I wished Caleb was here so they could watch him beat me up and maybe finally understand why I did it.

Choosing to ignore his ignorant question, I asked one of my own.

"When will you guys be leaving?" My voice was laced with distaste. I hoped they could pick up on my social clues and figure out I wanted them anywhere but here.

"Not until you get your mental health in fucking check and don't pull bullshit like this again." Ethan snapped, almost like how i'm gonna snap his neck if he keeps talking.

"I don't get you guys. If you hate me so much why won't you let me kill myself. It's not like you've never told me to do so!"

I could see their own mental war that they were having. They were debating wether or not they should let down their guard. I hope they finally do.

Silence filled the room and my patience was cutting short.

"You don't even have the guts to answer me. You're the reason your little sister tried to kill herself and you can't even give an explanation as to why you saved her? Come on." I laughed bitterly but with no humor behind it.

Ethan flung his chair back and stalked out of the room. Tears sprung to the back of my eyes but I pushed them back down. I refuse to cry and show weakness, showing just how much I care about them and their opinions.

"Please just don't kill yourself Brynn. We're assholes ok? But we need you. Despite none of us wanting to admit it, we'd all die at the thought of you not being here. Just please don't try again."

That answer wasn't good enough. It was half assed and no where near the heart felt apology I wanted.

"Assholes? What a light hearted way to put terrorizing, abusing, and bullying me."

"You just don't get it." Carter huffed, slowly walking towards the door as if he was disappointed.

"Then explain it to me!" I screamed at his back.

He froze. I stared at his back, patiently waiting. After a few seconds he continued his walk and once again I was left with nothing. None of this made sense anymore and I was determined to figure this out.