Sex and the Billionaire Crime Boss - Season 2

Ch. 3: Is This Goodbye?

"Are you walking away from me, Hadley?"

His question pierces straight through to my heart.

Max has turned my world upside down. Every moment with him is a roller coaster of excitement, an igniting of passions I didn't know were in me just waiting to be unleashed. And at the same time he's made me feel cherished and protected in a way no man ever has before. In a way I never imagined was even possible.

He's also capable of far more violence than I ever imagined. And his forays outside the law aren't just mere technicalities. I realize now that it goes way deeper than the money-laundering scheme he followed through on because his father had already made the deal.

As much as he says no, Max did have a choice. And he chose to carry on his family's legacy of criminal enterprises, and the violence that goes hand-in-hand with that sort of life.

The choice Max made goes against everything I believe in.

I've been staring down at the table, and I look up at him now as he waits for my answer, his face, as usual, unreadable.

"Yes," I say, and he nods. I almost add that I don't have a choice, but that wouldn't be true. We all have choices. Max made his, and now I've made mine.

There are so many things I want to say to him right now, but my throat seems to have closed up and I can't get the words out.

I want to tell him how much I hate this, and that I really want to be with him.

But I suppose he knows that.

Max stands up. And when I look into his eyes I see the same heartbreak reflected in my own. But only for a moment, and then the mask snaps down again.

"I understand," Max says.

Somehow that makes it even worse. Part of me wants desperately for him to argue with me, to say something that would change my mind. To at least try.

But the logical part of my brain is reminding me that nothing he said could really make a difference. I can't accept the things he does. And I can't just close my eyes to them and pretend they don't exist.

"Max, I'm sorry." I manage to choke out the words, and he comes around the table, takes my chin between his fingers in that so familiar gesture, tilting my head up.

I think for a moment that he might lean down and kiss me and if he does I don't know how I'll stop myself from taking back my words, from telling him I don't care about any of this, I just want us to be together. Even though I know I'd regret it.

But he doesn't kiss me, and the moment passes.

"If you need anything - ever - text me or Gabe."

I nod. For someone who pretty much talks for a living - in court, in my office, advising clients - I have surprisingly little to say right now.

He's made no move to go out the door, and I'm wondering what happens next. I'm trying to hold back my emotions as long as I can, when what I really feel like doing is curling up in a ball under my covers and crying myself to sleep. Pushing Max away is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I know it's the right thing.

My eye catches the bracelet on my wrist, and I wonder if should take it off right now and give it back to him. But it's too much to think about. And that seems so . . . final.

"Before I leave tonight," Max says, "I need you to tell me about the man who was following you. And what happened when he tried to force you into a car earlier today."