If You Could

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"Eric, if you could, just end it all, would you?" Bobbi said as she slipped further and further into a haze.

"Oh yeah. Escape. I'd escape this crap," Eric replied, staring at the ceiling of Bobbi's room, the psychedelic posters lit up in the black light, the various lines and images creating insane stars in a pulsing, warbling sky.

He leaned over and kissed her. Then they went to it, teenage clumsy, teenage quick, but to them, it was magical. It was perfect, and it was right. It lasted forever. Bobbi woke in the early hours, and she realized what had happened. She screamed without thinking. It wasn't what she had wanted, not yet. Eric woke with the daylights getting beat out of him by her brother and father. He was charged, black and blue, with rape. He fought it but lost.

A year later, in the cell, a shell of who he was, he found a way to die and took his own life.

---

"Eric, if you could, just end it all, would you?" Bobbi said as she rocked their newborn, looking around the shelter.

"Never, Bobbi. Never."

He was lying. It was exactly what he was contemplating.

Then came the word. It was time to go. Men were not allowed in the shelter with women and children, even if they were married. He got up, kissed her and the baby, and walked away. He knew what was waiting for them and him. He knew to the core of him that it would never get better. He was good at winning people over and keeping things afloat for a while, but he was not good at keeping it that way. He had won Bobbi back so many times he'd lost count. This time was no different. They were broke, having lost everything, and had to run. As always, it was his fault. He had been sure of the plan. He had been so sure of his conspirators. As always, he was wrong.

As he entered the men's area, he saw them, the leg breakers. It was time to collect, end of the line.

Eric ran up the stairs, dove through the window, and made sure he hit the pavement three stories below head first.

---

"Eric, if you could, just end it all, would you?" Bobbi said as she kneeled, the fresh lashes pouring red down her back. His other followers begged him to end their pain and set them free.

"Yes! And we'll do it together! They are waiting, my doves! They are most excitedly, wonderfully, exquisitely, waiting! Let us depart!"

They drank the solution he'd prepared. They smiled at each other, hugged, kissed, sang, and swayed, with smiles of true belief, with fire in their eyes enough to light the room, they died, falling all around him in neat lines as he raised his glass. His glass had the same solution, save for that fatal ingredient.

"More souls, master! More souls for your favor!"

That's when the strike team broke in, but they were too late. Eric sat there grinning. They later claimed he resisted arrest, forcing them to use deadly force, even though he had welcomed them with a most handsome smile and vowed to save them as well.

---

"Eric, if you could, just end it all, would you?" Bobbi said in his head. He was on the bridge, overlooking the frozen river below.

"I'm coming, dear! I'm coming!"

As he was about to jump, a snowflake landed on his nose. He thought of an old movie. He waited. He looked up. No angel came. He laughed. Then, he changed his mind. As he turned to get down, he slipped and fell to his death. No one ever knew of his change of heart.

---

"Eric, if you could, just end it all, would you?" Bobbi said, running her fingers through his chest hair.

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