Still, Will and Always

Chapter 7 : The Diary of Ethan

The first week of senior year was a flurry of new faces, new subjects, and new expectations. Among the most intriguing was our advisory class, the contemporary arts subject, a space full of artists and filled with their vibrant colors, the smell of paint, and the soft rustle of sketching pencils. Our teacher, an energetic woman with a twinkle in her eyes, had a unique project in mind to kickstart the year.

To my surprise, I was paired with Gavvy. The news sent a ripple of shock through me, stirring up a mixture of  emotions. However, I knew it was a way to understand his side and get to know his reasons on why he left without saying a word, and to uncover the layers of complexity that had formed around him.

Our task was to create an art piece that showcases our understanding of our partner. It was a challenge that required a deep dive into the personality and behavior of another person, a task that demanded empathy and insight. Though I already knew what Gavvy likes and what his behavior is, I just focus on writing a short story that foretells my version of his perspective through the view of a different person.

The day ended with our teacher assigning us a task to present in front of the class. We were given a week to prepare, and as the school day concluded, I felt a sense of relief. Knowing Gavvy's unpredictable nature, I decided not to engage with him anymore. Just as I was about to exit the school gate, I heard Gavvy call out my name. I chose to ignore it, quickening my pace until I was out of sight. I glanced back one last time, but he was nowhere to be seen.

On my way home, I couldn't shake off the feeling that someone was following me. I quickened my pace, and just as I was about to enter my house, someone grabbed me. I managed to break free and turned around to see Gavvy. A mix of anger and confusion washed over me. I confronted him, "Why did you do that? You're really getting on my nerves!"

Gavvy responded, "I'm sorry, but I think we need to work together to finish the artwork earlier." I retorted, "What for? We already know each other, isn't that enough? Besides, I thought you didn't know me? Why are you acting like this now?" He replied, "Look, I’m sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I was just... playing around."

Overwhelmed with anger and hurt, I asked him, "Then why did you disappear? You didn't even visit me or text me!" Tears welled up in my eyes as the pain of his actions hit me, I started to cry. I was catching my breath so much that I couldn't stop sobbing. Gavvy remained silent, offering me comfort instead.

Just then, my mom opened the door and saw us. I wiped my tears and tried to calm myself and entered the house. She invited Gavvy inside. Despite my reluctance, I had no choice but to agree. I went to my room to change and forgot to lock the door. Gavvy walked in and saw me undressed. I yelled at him to get out, but he closed the door and jumped at me. I told him to get off me but he wouldn't budge, I threatened to shout, but he silenced me with a kiss, then I could feel his hands on my body and he started to lick my neck. But I managed to push him away and called him a pervert. After I got dressed, my mom called us for snacks.

We went downstairs to eat, and afterwards, Gavvy followed me back to my room. I told him to leave, but he insisted on staying. He promised not to cross any boundaries, and I reluctantly agreed. We then discussed our plans for the assignment. Gavvy revealed that he would sing the song he sang when we first met, with some added lyrics. When he asked about my plan, I told him I would write a short story. With that settled, we began working on our tasks.

Then Gavvy, with his passion and love for music, composed a heartfelt love song for me. He went to get his guitar and start tuning in. I couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation as he strummed the first few chords. His voice, soft yet filled with emotion, echoed through the room, painting a picture of our shared past, our unspoken feelings, and his longing for a connection.

On my part, I chose to express my understanding of Gavvy through the written word. I wrote a story titled "The Diary of Ethan". It was a tale of love, hurt, and the devastating consequences of repeated mistakes. Ethan, the protagonist, was deeply in love with Liam, but his unpredictable behavior led to a cycle of pain and forgiveness. This cycle tragically ended with Liam taking his own life.

I poured my heart and soul into the story, each word reflecting my perception of Gavvy. I painted Ethan as a charming and charismatic character, much like Gavvy. However, Ethan's unpredictable behavior was a reflection of the complexity I saw in Gavvy. The tragic ending of the story embodied the pain I felt from the distance that had grown between us.

The day of the presentation arrived, and the air was thick with curious and creative minds of every artist in the classroom. As each of my classmates presented their art pieces, I couldn't help but feel a flutter of nervous excitement. When it was our turn, I took a deep breath, steadied my trembling hands, and began to read my story.

As the words flowed, I could feel the room's atmosphere shift. My classmates listened in fascinating attention, their eyes reflecting a mix of surprise and empathy. When I finished, the room was silent for a moment before erupting into applause. The teacher, visibly moved, asked us to explain our pieces.

Gavvy explained that his song was a tribute to our friendship, a melody that held his deepest feelings for me. On my part, I explained that "The Diary of Ethan" was a reflection of my complicated relationship with Gavvy. I described Gavvy as a person who was charming and sweet, yet held a side of him that was difficult to understand.

The class ended with a sense of newfound understanding and respect for each other. Our art pieces had not only revealed our perceptions of each other but also brought us closer despite our complicated past.

As I walked out of the classroom that day, I couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment that will remain in my memories for years. I had managed to express my feelings through my story, and in doing so, I had taken a step towards understanding Gavvy better. It was a day that marked a turning point in our friendship, a day I would remember for years to come.