I need a cold shower. That's it... I literally have nothing else to say but my thoughts... my thoughts were running wild and I needed to do something to deal with this building pressure. Y'all I can't explain what it was about Ra'Quise, I've never met anyone who makes me feel the way he does, when I'm with him it's a mixture of pure joy, anger, peace, war, happiness, and sadness.... Let me explain, I guess I'll start with the negative emotions, when I'm with Ra the anger comes from the fact that I know... I just know he's my soulmate and as crazy as that sounds I know it's the truth, where the anger comes from is that I know we can't be together... at least not right now. That's where war comes in, because even knowing that we can't be together I still want to be with him, I'm in constant war with myself because there are times when I need to see him but can't because of the feelings he stirs up inside of me. Which brings me to sadness.... if I were to say fuck our agreement and get with Ra'Quise... I'd cheat on him, I knew it and that was one of the reasons I had to endure the pain I felt knowing that we couldn't be together. But it wasn't all bad, Ra'Quise is the only person I could truly be myself around, when I'm with him it's like I'm at peace with everything and nothing matters but us. Ra could just look at me and I couldn't help but smile, Ra'Quise made me do things I never thought I'd do and truthfully... he's the only person I'm willing to do those things with... He had my heart and no matter who came along there was no replacing Ra'Quise Duvernay.
"Oh fuck nigga you going too deep... fuck you got a big ass dick...." Someone was moaning as I walked into my dorm, I wish I could say I was surprised but at this point, I was use to it... keep in my classes hadn't even started.
"Wassup Zyn?" Primo said as he continued fuckin this dark-skinned dude, I nodded and started gathering my stuff to take a shower and tried to ignore the moaning but that nigga was loud as fuck. "Ayy you trying to hop in? I need a break..." Primo said and I quickly looked at him, now I wasn't exactly DL but I wasn't fully out yet either. I preferred to keep my business to myself and I didn't know this dude so I was kinda annoyed.
"Nah that's all you bruh, I gotta start getting ready for Titan's game... you still coming right?" I asked trying not to stare at his ass but it was difficult, Primo had one of those asses that was the perfect mix of fat and muscle so when he fucked it just jiggled mesmerizingly.
"I can't I'm kinda busy.... plus you know my Sunday rule." Primo said and I couldn't help but laugh, for some reason, I couldn't explain Primo didn't fuck on Sundays... you'd have to ask him why but I was the type who liked to fuck no matter what day of the week it was.
"I forgot... but I'll hit you up later." I said gathering all my stuff and heading to the shower. Thankfully these dorms didn't have communal showers, I was somewhat of a neat freak and I've seen the dorm showers where Qasim lived, and no thanks... My thoughts drifted back to Ra'Quise and despite taking a cold shower my dick was still getting hard at this particular memory.....
The heavy rain had turned into a gentle drizzle and the fog rising from the ground was so thick that I could barely see the edge of Ra'Quise's balcony... We were laying on a blanket, his head against my chest, my arms wrapped around him securely and my dick still hard as fuck... I listened to the sounds of nature and while they were soothing, there was nothing that brought me more peace than listening to him snoring.... I watched the sky change from the darkness of night to the glow of earlier morning... Ra'Quise stirred, woke up, and then his eyes met mine... Without a word we started kissing, that's it... no sex, no humpin, no foreplay... just kissing... That was the memory that stood out to me more than anything because there were no words between us, just pure emotions as we expressed our true feelings....
Last night, Ra'Quise unlocked a different side of me, I don't know what it was but I wanted to give him everything I had and then some... Truth be told even offering up my ass didn't seem like a lot because what Ra'Quise never knew... what no one knew, was that it was Ra'Quise who got me through the darkest times in my life. A time when certain thoughts would enter my head and I would even start to entertain those thoughts... one night I was having a really hard time, I had just gotten into with Zach and my parents took his side, I was feeling alone and hurt and I probably would've gone through with it, had I not got a message from Ra'Quise.
