Blurred Lines

~Arcade~

Austin's POV:

I frowned as Kalani slammed the door and pushed me over to the bed.

"Sit" She said glaring at me.

I sat down, but not because she told me too.

"What is your problem? I'm not your girlfriend Austin. I'm your friend. Nothing more, nothing less-"

"That's what you think" I said glaring at her.

"What does that even mean?" She asked rubbing her forehead.

"What's so good about this guy anyway? He isn't better than me" I said rolling my eyes.

"What does that have to do with anything Austin? You're my-"

"I'm not just your fucking friend Kalani. I don't wanna be that anymore. I want-" She put her hand over my mouth and shook her head.

"Don't say that. Don't tell me you want me" She said quickly.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her down on my lap.

"Austin-"

"Why can't I be honest with you about how I feel? Huh? You told me you always wanted me to be honest with you. I'm trying and you won't let me" I said as I cupped her cheek.

"Because you can't tell me that. I can't feel like that with you. You're my friend. I won't ruin-"

"Fuck that. Even if we didn't work out, I'd still care about you. It wouldn't change anything Kali" I said titling my head.

"Austin. I can't do this. I-I don't feel the same way about you" She said shaking her head.

"Don't lie to me. You feel something for me. You do. You can't sit here and tell me you don't" I said shaking my head.

She looked over and bit her lip.

She can't say she doesn't feel SOMETHING for me. For all of us. There's no way she can.

I'm not delusional. Not all the time anyway.

I'm not imagining this. All of us can't be imagining the exact same thing.

I love her. We all do.

And I know she may not be head over heels for us, but she feels something.

I just want her to admit it. That's all I want.

I just want to know that she feels the same way I do. Or at least a little bit of what I feel.

"Tell me you don't feel the same way. Tell me you haven't thought about me and you at least once before you've gone to sleep. Say it, and I won't ever bother you with this again" I said pulling her closer.

She was so warm.

"I-I don't- I don't feel the same way about you. I don't want you......like that Austin. I-I'm sorry"

I don't think I've ever been heartbroken before.

But right now. In this moment. I feel broken.

Like everything is wrong.

Maybe I should've keep my mouth shut. Maybe I should've waited for her to say something.

She can't lie about how she feels forever. But now,

I don't know how I feel.

I don't normally feel things. I know that for a fact.

The things I care about in life are on a VERY short list.