MY DIGITAL DIARY : POETRY, THOUGHTS & JOURNAL ENTRIES PART TWO

4th April

4 April 2024

I can't believe it's April.

This morning I had a big sleep in and I had a dream where I met up with one of my close childhood friends who I thought hated me because she never replied to my messages (same as irl) but in the dream she was like omg no I miss u I just am really bad at replying etc etc .. I didn't want to fully wake up irl cause I knew this was a dream and wanted to hold onto it knowing it probably would not align with reality because why would she not message me back (it's been about 8 months or more) so I was gonna leave it... but then as soon as I woke up I opened tumblr and one of the first posts I saw was saying something along the lines of "although it sucks to be the first to reach out time and time again sometimes you really need to because some people really struggle to do that and it's the only way to keep a friendship and it doesn't mean they hate you or aren't trying etc etc" something along those lines .. and I was like damn that's kinda crazy that something so relative would come up.. so I told myself you know what I'm gonna take that as a sign and message her one last time (I opened my messages and in reality she had only not responded to like 1 or 2 messages from ages ago that weren't that specific, I could have easily done the same) and I was like I'm gonna message cos worst thing to happen she won't reply and at this point I don't care cos I've accepted that ppl have moved on like I'm not rlly the best to be around these days etc.. so I just messaged "hey dude how are you?? <3" and literally a few minutes later she sent a message saying she was deeply deeply sorry from bottom of her heart and that her brain is rlly making it impossible to reply but she's been meaning to once a week etc (which I can totally relate to) anyways then she invited me to come over and catch up tomorrow night!

Moments like these make me realise the universe has got me and timing is always right
like the only reason I had this dream was cos I got home later than expected last night after train delays then cancelled my dr appt I was meant to go to this morn so I could sleep in and ended up waking from this dream at like midday and saw the tumblr post that happened to come up on my feed then messaged her and now I'm gonna have one of my fav ppl back in my life - damn.

Sometimes you really do just gotta put in a little bit more effort, throw away the ego and pride and realise not EVERYONE hates u haha

I'm a little anxious cos I haven't socialised with anyone in SO LONG. But this is my homie since about 2008 so it'll be super chill!