15 WORDS

#12 Spiritual Journey

Always locked up
in a whirlpool of emotions.
Like a bird without its feathers,
I feel inevitably stuck.

I cry for help to my neighbors,
to my friends and everyone
But they just turn blind
and away from me.

And I don't blame them.
Even if I had nine lives of a cat,
I think I would still
make the same choices.

Where I don't go rogue
against my true feelings.
Where I look at you like a pearl
A precious gem that
wrought a meaning.
You are my spring season.

But now it's autumn.
Your absence hails me towards
an ending unforeseen.
I wish I could break this algorithm
that's kept me between.

Losing myself to
the disappointments,
To the eyes that are
yearning and wanting.

To take a one final look at your smile.
Regardless of whether it's for me or not.
But I know if I saw it I'll get greedy,
To fly away with you to a far away place.

Where I won't have my doubts,
And you won't leave me hanging.
Where you won't play games,
And you'll be truthful about it all.

Whether you want me gone.
Or whether you want me to stay beside you.
Whether you want it as a friend or
a partner swearing a lifetime with you.

If it's the latter, I can't wait to tie the knot.
I had the afterparty already in my thoughts.
But soon the truth snapped me back to reality,
You're not here, so I'm just writing you in my stories.

Funny how all the promises mean nothing now.
I should accept it, because this is our final parting.
After this I won't ever look back, I'm tired of being hurt.

By expectations and disappointments, to somebody
who never meant things that way.
I built love all by myself.
And now I'm breaking it on my own too,
You don't get a right to say.

This alone is my spiritual journey,
Hence I end my pain.
And all my emotions I write into this
paper that will keep me from feeling ashamed.

****

Words collected from:
Mrsbinlid