15 WORDS

#16 Devil's Daughter

Trust broken, loyalty gone.
Supported him to only be
cut by his many thorns.
In my dreams, I hear his laughter,
That which used to give me bundles of joy
now makes my life horrid, a disaster.

I wake up like I woke up from a nightmare,
lips dry, mind in panic,
my body in a pool of sweat,
as if I woke up from my own slaughter.
But I still have to carry on with my day,
fake smiles, fake strength,
I feel like an imposter.

You shattered me and scarred me to pieces
but still wanted me to be understanding.
If that's not the devil speaking than who is;
because in that case
I don't mind being the devil's daughter
and deny you the chance to break me more
to take advantage of the kindness that I have shown...

I wanted nothing more than a companionship
where we always have each others back, but instead
you chose to backstab and devour. To my horror,
you still have no remorse, no guilt for what you did to me.
You live your life like nothing happened
but to me, you're the demon, you're the monster.

I wish I hadn't shown any encouragement, any empathy,
because it only pushed me further down into my misery.
These memories are nothing but venom I can't erase.
I would put you down if I could, if I wasn't such a coward.

I knew everything was already over long before you told me.
Long before you said your fake words of gratitude,
long before you reminisced the hours
that we spent together, and our first encounter.

But now it means nothing to me,
acceptance was necessary,
so I did, and I started sharing
the scars that you left me
instead of keeping it all bottled.

Now I don't feel ashamed of myself anymore.
Now I don't get panic attacks when I think of you.
Now I feel strength coursing through my body yet again.
Now I can face you and stay unshakeable on my feet.
Tell you that your promises of forever mean nothing to me
they are just a poor man's attempt at lying while acting empowered.

****

Words collected from:

Machlover