March 1, 2017
Shen Nianci, after a ton of internal wrestling, decided to finally confess her feelings for Li Yingze. But blurting it out was just too nerve-wracking, so she came up with a game instead. They agreed to leave the initials of their crushes on each other's QQ profiles. Shen Nianci boldly left "LYZ" (Li Yingze), but time hadn't been kind to Li Yingze's response. All she could remember was that it was three letters, either "XZY" or "YZL," and her memory failed her completely on what he actually said. In the fog of her recollection, she thought he maybe needed some time to figure things out, but a month passed with crickets.
April 4, 2017
Just a hair past April Fool's Day and landing on a lucky weekend, Shen Nianci cornered Li Yingze. He clutched his backpack strap nervously, a silent follower on her extended walk. Shen Nianci's stomach churned – she still desperately craved an answer.
Teenage angst, she thought. Blurting things out was a social suicide mission at their age. So, after what felt like an eternity of deliberation, she went with a softer approach. "Zeze," she started, using the nickname only she dared to call him. It was a small but intimate detail, a hint that maybe, just maybe, she held a special place in his world too.
Shen Nianci stared ahead, waiting for Li Yingze's answer. The silence stretched, thick and heavy, until a barely audible "Mmm" escaped his lips. Shyness or indifference? It was hard to tell. No matter, she was just relieved he didn't shut her down. A giddy bounce filled her steps as she walked on, stealing glances back at him.
Their dynamic was strange. Li Yingze used to trail behind her by a half-step, and now, the tables had turned. Maybe, subconsciously, things were shifting.
Right now, though, her heart soared. Like a lost fawn reunited with its mother, a wave of relief washed over her. Every step felt lighter, the chirping birds a joyous chorus celebrating her newfound hope.
But the sunshine couldn't last.
In just a week, less than seven days to be exact, Li Yingze posted a cryptic message on his QQ profile:
"Actually, being alone isn't so bad..." followed by those dreaded ellipses.
Shen Nianci's blood ran cold as she stood frozen by the school gates, phone clutched in her hand. Panic surged, and she frantically messaged him on QQ, blurting out "I'm sorry" followed by a string of desperate pleas.
Looking back, she often regretted it. Maybe he wasn't the one pushing for a break-up, but her apology gave him an easy way out.
Why the apology?
Wracked with the need to see him that day, she'd loaded up on fruit and waited by the bus stop from noon until six pm, but he was a no-show.
Fuming, she hated waiting around. The specifics of her message were lost to memory, overshadowed by the helpless ache that clenched her heart at his post.
Later, regret gnawed at her. Maybe he had a real emergency that day, stuck somewhere and stewing in his own frustration. Getting slammed with accusatory messages wouldn't exactly calm anyone down. Nobody likes being misunderstood and blamed on a bad day.
Maybe she was just clinging to straws, desperate for a graceful exit of her own.
What was holding her back, anyway?
The next weekend, she stationed herself along his usual route.
She spotted him in the distance and her first instinct was to tun away. So, she snagged a friend and diverted their course towards his school.
YOU ARE READING
Secret Love at the Equator by Xia Zhiyao
Teen FictionThere was this boy in her youth who stole her heart completely. But for almost ten years, her feelings were a one-way street. Every time Li Yingze glanced back, it was never for her.
