Close to Home by Emma Miller

Chapter 17

For just a moment, Mary savored the warmth and texture of his lips. Caleb's kiss was tender, and it softened her anger and stole the breath from her throat. He'd surprised her, but she seemed to know exactly how to tilt her head, as though they'd done it a hundred times. His breath was fresh, and he tasted of mint. She couldn't understand how their lips came together so perfectly, almost as though they were two parts of a single whole.

"Oh, Mary." 

Caleb embraced her and she had to make herself pull away. "Ne. We're not to the kissing part yet. I've not even agreed to let you court me," she protested, rising to her feet and going to the far side of the table.

"I want you for my wife. I'm not playing games." He shook his head. "We don't have to go slow."

She went to the stove and picked up the coffeepot, needing something to do, needing to reason this out. She could still taste him, still feel the imprint of his mouth on hers.

What must he think of her? That he could drive her home from a singing and she'd allow him to do what was proper only for a betrothed or a husband? Did he think that she was so desperate to marry anyone that she'd allow him to take liberties? And suppose her aunt or uncle had returned to the kitchen and seen them kissing? Her reputation would have been destroyed.

"I don't know about the girls in Virginia," she said. "But I was raised modestly. You're too fast by far, Caleb."

He stood up and she thought again how handsome he was. Far too good a catch for the likes of her...

"I won't apologize for kissing you," he said. "It's true that we've only just met after so long apart. But if you'll take a chance on me, I promise I'll never let you down again. I love you, Mary. I think I've loved you since you were seven years old. And I can't imagine having another woman in my kitchen, in my bed or bearing my children."

She chewed on her lower lip. This was all too much. How could he expect her to seriously consider marriage? Most Amish couples dated for a year or more before they announced their intentions to wed. And to move to Virginia? To never see her family and friends again?

And then there was the question of whether or not she really could trust him. He'd told her he had changed, that he wasn't the boy who had cheated on the spelling bee and lied to her. But he was the man who had failed to tell her that he needed a wife in the next month.

"Go home, Caleb," she said, her conflicted emotions bubbling up again. "Give me time to think and pray on this. I won't be rushed into marriage. You're asking me to commit my whole life to you. It's not rational to do that without careful thought and prayer."

He crossed the kitchen to the door and then turned back. "It is," he said. "It's the most rational decision I've ever made."