Aries

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Aries, the ram. Bold blunt and goat like, it is used to live in valleys, and have a rivalry with the goat, no one can explain. Perhaps its the similarities in taste and texture? Or perhaps its the similar appearances? Sadly, no one can tell, else we might reunite these distant relatives. Well, that is if we have to do it outside of the stew pot, which is quite a great way of uniting I think. And noble of humans to. I recommend a few bits of carrots, boiled in chicken broth, and to perhaps roast the ram first. Mmm, the thought alone is causing ulcers in my stomach just now, by the heightened production of stomach acid, due to this tasty treat.


Characteristic of a ram is usually a an agile, head-first type of person. You will usually find them in challenging jobs like fishing, but don't think they don't know how to use their heads! Aries also tend to be football coaches, and in rare occasions computer technicians, with the preferred repair technique of hitting the broken pc with their heads. After all, there is nothing that cant be solved by violence.

But how do we write a horoscope for someone like Aries? It is easy, remember the important step? That's right, sip that cocoa, you cocoa loving person!

"Aries: Be bold! Head first into problems solves everything. Even literally. If your Capricorn boss is too annoying, ram your head into his stomach, that should settle the matter! Make quick decisions,
live in the now. You shan't be harmed, that much."


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