21. Hotline Bling

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After hearing the news, I didn't know what to say further or even what to do. So many thoughts were running through my head and my emotions were all over the place. I felt lied to and manipulated. Arden seemed like a whole different person to me now. She has hid so much important sh-t from me and lied so many times and our relationship was only just beginning. How could we have a future if she couldn't be straightforward with me? I can understand wanting to get away from your past but leaving me in the dark about something so prevalent in her past was f-cked up. She didn't even want me to learn about how she had treated Avery. She wanted to leave me blind, but thankfully Sofia led me to the light.

With anger, hurt and confusion all mixed in one, I excused myself from Sofia's presence and went into the room that Arden and I were sharing. I sat on the bed and just stared at the pale blue wall as if it was going to transform into something greater than what it was. There were no tears falling down, just a blank, melancholy stare. Arden had me feeling pathetic the whole day as if I did something wrong to her. She had shunned me, barely said a thing to me and made me feel like sh-t all because she was so scared that her dirty secret was going to be revealed. Well, now it was, and I felt even more sh-tier.

I'm not sure how long I stayed that way, but it must've been for a while because Arden came into the room all sweaty with a huge smile on her face. "Kitten! Why are you all locked up in the room?! Jacob and I are playing a pretty lopsided game of tag out there and we could really use an extra person!"

I looked up at Arden slowly with a flat stare. Her smile quickly diminished when she noticed that I wasn't okay. She ran her fingers through her hair a bit timidly before looking down at the floor. "Listen, Mira, I can explain," she urged.

"You always say that and all you do is explain lies. How can I trust you, Arden? You made me feel unwanted the whole day and then Sofia tells me all about you and your ex-girlfriend and what you did to her. It's just too much," I responded softly. I had wasted too much energy into thinking, crying and hating myself that I couldn't even yell at her. "All I ask for you is to be honest with me but you can't do that. You're always leaving something out or altering a story in your favor. I can't believe anything that comes out of your mouth. You say you love me, but I really can't believe that. I can't help but feel like you're using me."

"Using you for what, Mira," Arden questioned with concern. Thanks to my quiet demeanor, she spoke softly as well. She got down on her knees before me on the floor as I sat on the bed. Her hands met my thighs but I pushed them away immediately. "Come on, kitten. You're not making sense. I have everything that I could ever want. I don't have to use you for anything. Not for sex. Not for money. Not for fame. If it's anything I should be worried about you using me."

My eyebrows furrowed as I stared at Arden. Did she really just turn this around on me? "You know what, Arden, I don't have time for games. I don't have time for you switch sh-t around like-"

"I'm not switching anything around, Mira! I'm not saying that I am worried about you using me, but I should be. I should be worried that you're just like those other girls, but guess what? I f-cking trust you. Why don't you trust me!? Why are you so busy listening to what other people have to say about me? My past doesn't define me. I'm a changed woman and sure I may have been f-cked up back then but I would never hurt you. I'd never lay a f-cking finger on you in a harmful way. I love you, Mira." She reached to take my hand and I allowed her to hold it. Her thumb caressed against the back of it gently. "You're my girl and I'd give you anything you could dream of. I'll treat you like a queen. All you have to do is let me. Listen to your heart, Mira."

I swallowed hard and looked away from her. Every time I listened to my heart, it always got me in trouble. It always led me in the wrong direction. "I just think it'd be best if I caught the next flight back to LA."

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