The Friend Zone

Chapter Twenty-One: I Wish I Could Take it All Back

 I was silent the rest of the time I was at Matt and Macy's house, I didn't have anything to say, I didn't have anything I wanted to say. I was heartbroken, to say the least. When I got to the team lunch I couldn't even look at Kayla, but I didn't want her to know that I knew what I knew.

"You okay Tess?" Amanda asked.

"I feel like shit," I sighed, rubbing my temples.

"Is that why you're not playing?" Kayla asked from the other side of the table.

"Yeah," I said, "I think I have food poisoning."

"You never know with this shit," Amanda laughed, pushing her food around on her plate.

"True," I said, trying my best to cheer up, but I couldn't help but overhear what Kayla was talking about on the other end.

"It was so weird this morning," she said to Kelsey, "we woke up and his room door was open just a crack, it was weird as hell because his roommate left."

"That's scary," Kelsey remarked.

"Yeah maybe we just didn't shut it all the way when we got back," she remarked, looking at me out of the corner of her eye, "I mean it was hard enough to get the door open and unlocked in the first place with the way that we were all over each other."

I wanted to vomit.

I quickly shoved my chair away from the table and ran into the bathroom where I started to violently vomit into the toilet.

"Holy shit Tess, what's wrong with you?!" Amanda exclaimed.

"I can't do this," I sobbed, sliding down onto the bathroom floor, "I can't fucking do this anymore."

"Tess, what's wrong?" she asked, sitting down on the floor next to me.

"Taylor's with Kayla," I sobbed, "She-she's b-blackmailing h-him and-and I h-have p-proof th-that it wasn't him n-now and-and I went to his room last night and-and she-she was there," I sobbed.

"Oh Tess," she sighed, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"I don't know what the hell I'm doing," I sobbed, "So I-I went and drank for three hours until I was almost blackout drunk last night. Matt came and picked me up."

"Oh gosh, Tess," she sighed, "It's going to be alright, you don't even know the whole story yet."

"I don't think I want to," I cried, "Didn't you hear what she just said? She said they were all over each other coming home last night Amanda."

"You never know," she sighed, "You never know."

###

Watching the game was nearly impossible, it made it even harder because we were getting our asses handed to us. The lines were completely jacked without me playing. Even though I was a freshman, I tried my best to make an impact every game.

I saw Taylor over in the student section with the rest of his teammates, but part of me didn't even want to look at him. The other part of me wanted to go over to him during the intermission and hold onto him and tell him it was all going to go the way it was supposed to go and we could be together again like we were supposed to be able to.

But I couldn't get that image out of my head.

They were laying there, just like he and I had two weeks ago, he was holding her, just like he had held me.

I felt like my heart had been pulled out of my chest and ripped into a million pieces and I didn't want to do anything but lay in bed because I'd never felt my heart break like this. Sure I'd dated two guys in high school, but I never felt the way I did about Taylor, there wasn't the deep emotional connection with either of them. But I really was beginning to realize that I loved Taylor with everything that I had, that my feelings were so raw and so real and that maybe I got it right this time, I even had the crazy thought cross my mind that maybe he, maybe my best friend on the planet was the one for me.