Waiting for Hope

Jet Black Heart

Jet Black Heart - 5 seconds of summer

Ethan stood at the clearing, looking at Hope after calling her name. He felt torn apart, defeated by all that had been going through his mind. With his hands in his pockets, he tried to hide his emotions but knew he was failing. He could tell. She could read it all over his face.

She seemed worried. He wasn't sure what she was more worried about, him being there and upsetting her more or what he might tell her. He knew it was time to lay everything on the table. Although he had planned on waiting a while, well as long as possible, before telling her about Will, he realized that the time had come. Whether he wanted to tell her or not, Hope needed to hear it.

"Ethan, what are you doing here?" she had asked.

"I, um, needed to talk to you about all of this and tell you..." Just say it, "I'm so sorry. Will you forgive me?" His heart was racing. "I shouldn't have gotten so upset with you. I was just so confused, and it brought up a lot of memories that I just have a hard time dealing with."

She watched him as he spoke, her head tilted to the side. God, how he needed her forgiveness. He didn't know what he would do if she didn't understand. It was killing him right then, the not knowing. But he had to keep talking to her, making her see what had been going on.

Would she even believe him? That Will had come back, basically a ghost or something, to help him? It was too crazy, he could barely believe it.

"Well, I can understand you would be confused. I was pretty confused myself. I'm not so sure about your anger though. Will you explain that to me?"

He was so relieved that she understood at least part of what had gone on. And she was willing to listen. That was all he could ask for.

"Can we sit down and I'll try to explain?" He wanted to hold her, touch her, but he knew she would need space. Sitting down was as close as he could get, so he would take it.

"Yeah, here, sit on the towel with me."

As he sat down, he made sure to keep some distance between them. He wouldn't force anything, just wait for her to close the gap. He would leave it up to her.

He wasn't sure how to start. He sat quietly for a moment, so she got things started.

"So, what's going on with you? Because I realize this whole thing is bizarre but..."

Yeah, bizarre was one way to put it. But he felt like the last five years had been pretty bizarre so this was just a new layer. He figured he would start with the dream, that would explain why he finally understood what she had been trying to tell him.

Just before he started talking he looked down and noticed her stones. Those little reminders of her time with him, and the wonderful traits she saw in herself. He needed to be as honest as he could, she deserved that.

"I remembered something, and then I understood what you were saying. I got it, why you would have talked to Will, when that seems impossible."

He wondered then about which night Will had first come to her. He suspected it was the same night as the dream.

"What night was the bonfire, when Will talked with you the first time?"

"Um, last Saturday, the first night I was up here. Why?"

As he suspected, that was the night he had the dream.

"I had a dream that night. Will, he came to me and told me he had helped you at the bonfire. He said that you would be ready now, I think he meant for me. I mean you would be ready to talk to me more. At the time, I just figured it was a random dream." He hadn't even really remembered it when he woke up.