Pirate Spain X Reader (never gonna leave you)

(part 3)

*your p.o.v*

Ever since that night, you haven't been the same. Like, you've been in a depression lately, Antonio has noticed it. He's really worried about you, but sadly, knowing that he is still at war with Britain, so he can't keep a close eye on you like he would like to. To make sure your not gonna do anything, sure your a country and can't really die but, you trying to kill yourself still bothers Antonio, you haven't really been spending time with Lovino either. With you like this, you tend to stay in your bedroom, door closed, lights off, and your head phones on your head. Playing the song, Wrist Cutter by Gumi Megpoid over and over again, night and day, all day, everyday. you never want to leave your room, you killed three guys! Even if they were trying to hurt you and Lovino, you still killed them, and that bothered you badly that Lovino had to see you like that. 

"(y/n)? You okay today?"

You hear Antonio ask, he's been asking that a lot since he first found out that you were depressed. You threw another stuffed animal at the door, meaning yes i'm fine now go away, you hear Antonio sigh and he walks away sadly, he wants his happy, sweet girl back. He misses her kisses, her hugs, he misses seeing her and Lovino play, he misses all that. But now, it might be a depression war in the house soon. You have some sort of thing in you that lets your emotions out, for example, a month after living here, you and Lovino were playing truth or dare and he dared you to eat a tomato. You never had one until he dared you to eat one. After eating one, you thought it was delicious! And anime looking hearts, and heart eyed emojis popped out of your head! That made Lovino giggle and you looked in the mirror and thats when you saw it, you began to giggle with Lovino and you began to tickle him, causing him to giggle even more. 

"N-No! D-Don't tickle me!"

He laughs out, you giggle and stopped. You never over did tickles, EVER! Even if she wanted to, she wouldn't because it took her forever to get Lovino to like her, she doesn't want to ruin that one bit. 

*timeskip* *Antonio's p.o.v.*

"I want my princess back....."

I say to myself, i miss her so much. Lovi has been clinging to me lately, which i love but...its for a sad reason. I wish i could tell him that she will be okay but...he'll know that i would be lying. I sigh, and sat down on the couch, Lovi sees me, climbs on the couch, and curls up to him, laying his on my lap. I smile and i gently pet his head, being careful with his curl, on not to touch it. I remember the first time (y/n) got onto me about touching Lovi's curl, that was a fun day for me. Cause that was the day, i know i had feelings for her. 

"A-Antonio....will (y/n) be okay...?"

Lovi asked me, I blinked because he's never called me by my real name. It's always been Tomato Jerk and other names like that. I sigh lightly and shook my head sadly.

"I don't know anymore Lovi..."

He curls up more and he begins to cry, i pick him up and i hold him close to me, letting him cry on my shoulder. I was so worried for (y/n) that i felt like crying myself right now, (y/n) being like this really makes me feel like it was my fault that night, that night when they gotten attacked by that British jerk. I wish i was there to have protected them, to have saved them, if i was there then non of this would be happening right now. I suddenly heard a crash from (y/n)'s room, i set Lovi down and i quickly ran to her room, scared written all over my face. 

'please not again, please not again, PLEASE not again (y/n)!'

was all that was going through my head right now, I'm really hoping that she's not doing what i think she's doing. I try to open her door but just my luck, it was locked, like it was most of the time these days. I then began to bang on the door,

"(y/n)! Please open this door! Please (y/n) please! Don't do what i think your doing!"

I yelled, I hear cries from outside her door and I try to break down the door, it wouldn't work, so i got my ax and i went back to her door, and I began to hit her door with my ax, breaking it. I got in her room and there she was, her arms, all cut up and bloody, blood over the floor where she was sitting at, and her, holding a knife to her throat. I run to her, grabbing the knife throwing it to the side, and i grab her, pulling her into a very tight hug. I was crying, i can't remember the last time i cried like this. I guess....i was so scared on loosing her....I acted quicker than ever.

"Are you stupid (y/n)!? Don't you ever do that again! You had me scared! (y/n) you fool! I love you so much so don't you ever forget that!"

I cried as i held her in my arms, she wasn't crying, nor was she hugging back.

"Toni...let me go...you only want me around to watch over Lovino...i'm nothing but a killer..."

"Stop saying that damn it! I will make you un think that!"

I then kissed her, still in tears. 

*Your p.o.v.*

Your eyes widen, Toni has always shared a kiss but nothing like this one. This one had more love in it, worry, and sadness. You kiss him back, starting to go back to your old self again, in the kiss you begin to cry and you wrapped your arms around his neck. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you close to him, he pulls back from the kiss and leans his forehead on yours, still crying. You kiss his forehead and leaned your forehead back on his, wiping his tears gently.

"I-Its okay Toni....I'm not going anywhere....i-i'm so sorry....no need to cry anymore...."

You hug him tightly as he cries, you couldn't believe you've been so depressed that you forgot your love...and you forgot about Lovino....you felt terrible, and probable will for a while. You began to cry yourself and hugs him tighter, he hugs you back, Lovino was in the door way and he run to you two, crying also. You welcome him into a tight hug and he clings to you, Toni hugs you both and you all had a touching moment, you never wanted to let either of them go, you never will, never again. 

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*two months later* 

Its been two months since my last break down, I've been feeling a lot better since then. Things haven't been bad, though....Spain was captured by England a month ago....So i've been watching Lovino by myself. I was wearing his necklace and i began to pray, pray for hope, to be strong in this struggle. Lovino wraps his arms around me and i look at him with a light smile. 

"yes? may i help you Lovino?"

you asked him kindly, he just shrugs and sighs sadly

"I miss tomato jerk..."

i lightly chuckle and i pull Lovino in my lap, 

"I do too Lovino....I do too..."

"Will you and tomato jerk ever get married?"

You blush at that question, but you smile.

"Maybe, i don't know. But if we do get married, that make me your mama"

You rubbed your nose with Lovino's and he giggles

"si, it does"

you kissed his head and you smile happily, you were so happy that you still had Lovino. You did miss Toni a lot, but all you can do is pray. You lightly hummed as you gently rocked Lovino in your arms. He falls asleep and you lay down, with him still in your arms, and you yawn. You start to fall asleep and when you did, you hold Lovino close to you, you never wanted to let him go.