To My Heart

Chapter 2~Stunning

Ahmed's POV.

Dear Ahmed, seems to me like I don't know what I'm doing or thinking anymore.

My hands are shaking while I'm writing this letter and my tears won't stop flowing just like a river that I want to drown myself in because I feel so hurt and I want this pain to stop.

But meanwhile, you, my beloved you are laying on this soft bed holding the woman I might have accidentally took the place of in your life while dreaming of a bright futur.

Three years ago when you left me I felt like the sky had fallen on me and I lost myself in the process of loosing you.

Because you were more than just the man I loved, you were every beating of my heart.

I know I shouldn't be running away and I should give you a chance to explain yourself but at the time that you'd wake up and realize everything... I will already be gone.

Ahmed I... Everything inside of me is killing me and I'm lost.

I can't think properly. If I've ever done something that hurt you, forgive me.

I'm sorry. Let's meet when both our paths decide that they are ready for another journey.

Your Fanaa.

That's the last words I had from her before she left me empty.

I could've go after her.

I could've run after her.

I could've bring her back home.

But, I understood she needed time.

She needed to be with herself.

So I decided to gave her what she needed.

There hasn't been a single day where I haven't felt guilty or lonely without her.

Everyday I feel like I should just leave everything and run to go find her wherever she is.

At first, I would keep and eye on her 24/7.

But soon I realized that what I was doing was just wrong.

I made a mistake.

This time I actually did one.

I was in a bed with another woman.

And she saw that.

I did not sleep with her.

Nothing happened that night.

Nothing.

I fell asleep and when I woke up my world fell apart.

In the letter Fanaa wrote "I can't think properly and I feel lost".

These words woke something up in me.

Like I've made a wrong step.

Like this time I need to respect her decision and her feelings.

I didn't know she felt that way and I never meant to break her.

So I stopped looking for her and I kept on going with life.

It was so hard. So hard.

To not have her by my side.

To not feel her.

To not see her.

To not know if she was safe and sound.

Drinking and smoking wasn't enough to stop the pain.

But then, I hoped.

That one day I would definitely see her.