I feel there's something wrong with me
But considering everything else I'm fine
And everyone seems to be going through it
But my existence seems to be a lie
No matter where I look, how hard I try,
When I concentrate, everything's too loud
And I can feel myself falling in between the atoms of everything I see.
At least she admits that I experience it a bit more than others
"The pandemic is getting to you" she says
I don't want validation, I just want answers
How do I stop this
I want to feel real again
Is it because my mind is too much for me?
Everyone around me seems to think I'm an intelligent human being
But they all seem to be like cardboard cutouts
Easily knocked over and replaced
I experienced the world through my eyes but they are failing me,
My fingers move without complete thought to get ahead in this life.
One more word, one more flash of electricity
And I'll keep you here with me,
I'll keep you here with me
I want to curl up and disappear inside myself
Struggling, fighting to regain thought
No gender, head empty, is it because of me
Or am I just so disconnected with reality
That I can't feel a thing
A woman I barely remember is my only tether
Was she ever real, I'll never know
Everyone seems to say so
But they're not real either so...
(As long as I don't end up like her, I'll be okay)
(All I have to do is live through another day)
(No scars on my arms from me, no damaged liver)
(I will be okay)
(Just you wait)
To be honest all I've wanted to do is hold onto someone tight
Circumstances where they're warm and they won't struggle right?
I look for the perfect human, and I'm almost there but no,
It's all being taken away from me
But I'll wait 5 years so...
I want to curl up and disappear inside myself
Struggling, fighting to regain thought
No gender, head empty, is it because of me
Why can't reality...
I used to feel it sometimes, but now it's everywhere I look
Hazy days, hazy scene, is it just me
Running on code, words coming out my mouth
And I'm not thinking at all
Every key that I press makes me think I might be insane
Actually no, because I don't have psychosis
Just trying to express some trapped soul inside of me
"The pandemics getting to you" she says...
Am I done yet?...
YOU ARE READING
My Personal Songbook (PT 1)
Poetrysongs and poems about me and the world. However you'd like to interpret them. A message for those painfully not aware even with everything going on: BLACK LIVES MATTER. this collection is sorted by newest to oldest going from "Brutality" onwards. ...
