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Chapter 34-Where is the Zen in Buddha Bowls?

Harper

"You okay Princess?" Vincent asks me over the phone. He went back home this weekend to spend some time with his parents. I didn't tag along because I have so much work I need to catch up on. Every time I try to do something, my mind wanders.

The last few days have been awful. I actually feel sick to my stomach and I think I've lost weight because I haven't been eating properly. The stress is making sleeping a lot harder and I can't find any solace anywhere. I've gone to hang out with the Misfits a few times during the week, but they easily walk on eggshells around me to try and avoid the topic of Logan.

"I'm just tired Vinny," I answer him honestly. "I've been trying to do this assignment for hours now and I can't manage."

"Relax a bit," He says softly. "Maybe watch a movie. Aren't you going to hang out with your friends later? Maybe a night out will help clear your mind."

I sigh out, "You're right. I just need to relax. How are your parents?"

"They're good!" He says enthusiastically. "Both of them are sad you didn't come this weekend. They made me promise to bring you for Spring Break. Mom and dad are talking about going to the beach for Spring Break and obviously you're invited."

The beach sounds marvelous right now. Getting to lie down under the sun, listen to the ocean waves, and just relax. I need that. That sounds amazing. "Tell them I'd love to go."

"Cool. I'll let them know at dinner." I can just imagine Vincent smiling. He loves the beach and it doesn't surprise me at all he's excited to go. Especially after the long weekend where he was supposed to propose. We haven't talked about that weekend since it happened. He also hasn't mentioned the proposal at all. The only reason I even know about it is because of Johnny.

I guess on paper, Vincent and I look like the perfect couple. We've been going on dates a lot more and every so often I forget about what I did. But it only lasts a few seconds before I'm reminded that I cheated on him. The guilt is consuming me faster than I can adjust. I didn't realize this secret would slowly be killing me. I've even had to stop by the university counselor a few times to just get it off my chest. I haven't told Vinny about seeing the counselor though, he would probably just get worried and try to spill open my secrets.

I do, however, miss talking to Lo. I think not having him around is affecting me more than I thought it would. I didn't realize how influential he is in my life and how happy he used to make me. A lot of times I'm left alone to my thoughts, I think back to the weekend we were together. Before this shitshow unraveled. I think of how he held me, kissed me, touched me, and just...made me feel so new.

God, I miss that.

"So, I'll see you Monday, right?" Vincent suddenly snaps be back to the phone call.

"Monday?" I say somewhat bewildered and out of it.

"Yeah, I have a game on Monday."

"Right," I nod along. "I'll be there."

"And this upcoming week is Valentine's." He says in a sing-song voice. I can just imagine his eyebrows wiggling around. It makes me crack a smile and feel more relaxed than I was a few minutes ago.

"I know Vinny," I smile. "I got you a present."

"Better have," He chuckles. In the background, I can hear Mrs. Sanders suddenly shout his name. "I got to go Harp. I'll call you later. Have fun tonight, okay?"

"Okay." I smile softly.

"I love you, Harper."

"Love you too Vinny. Give your regards to your parents from me." I hear him give a few kisses over the phone before he hangs up.