And When The Walls Come Down

Bound Together

"Why is Raquel here?" I finally asked, pretending to be engrossed in the titles before me as I trailed my finger along their spines. I could feel the weight of Martin's gaze on me, but I didn't turn to face him.

"She's part of the team." Was his solemn reply, as he adjusted the weight in his arms. I smirked softly as I eyed the stack of books he was carrying, even though most were already ones I had.

"Part of the team huh? Is that what Sergio told you?" I kept my tone low and uninterested, but inside I was seething. If Sergio had bothered to mention that Raquel would be joining us for this mission, I'd have politely refused his offer to come.

I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she had the audacity to be here, even after everything that she'd done. As a matter of fact, why wasn't Martin as angry over this as I was? He had to have known who'd been the one behind the orders to kill Andrés.

I finally turned to Martin, placing my last choice on top of the others and flouncing to the register. He'd regret mentioning the bookstore after seeing the total for this.

///

We returned to the monastery late afternoon, and though Martin mentioned me talking to our Professor, I really wasn't in the mood for it.

In fact, the only thing I was in the mood for was a long bath and an even longer nap.

One thing was clear though. However much, I wanted to leave, I had given Sergio my word that I would help free Rio, so I had to suck it up.

///

"I need you. You and I are the only ones who can handle Martin."

///

I can't say that I warmed up to Raquel in the following days. I was wary of her, and I was even more wary when I discovered just how close she seemed to be to the rest of the team. Hell, even Tokyo appeared to get along with her.

There was something that she was hiding from me. I could feel it in the way her gaze flickered to me, and then slipped away immediately when I met it head on. I wondered if Sergio knew about it.

Martin and I had called an unspoken truce, neither of us were willing to bring up anything that had transpired between us, and I was more than happy with letting things be. There was so much I wished to tell him, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

I didn't want him to hate me any more than he probably did.

///

I hadn't yet told them of my chosen name, afraid of the connotations associated with it. They would know of course, and I would be too embarrassed to do anything else but flush. "Lux." Paermo tasted the word on his tongue, "It suits you." He said, grinning brightly, and I let out the sigh I'd been holding, trying to ignore the way Bogota and Marseille eyed me with something akin to pity.

///

Our lessons progressed... slowly.

Bogota, Marseille, Palermo and I caught on quicker than the others did, but it made sense, we were closer than they were really.

I got the sense that the others, even Tokyo, seemed to think of this as a vacation of sorts. They roamed the halls as they pleased, drank and laughed uproariously. They ate more than they cooked, and even sneaked off to the clubs in town.

It was more than a little frustrating to see. They were all so happy, so free. While I, I just felt trapped.

Ironic really, since this had always been the one place where I'd once felt the most free.

Even Raquel seemed to be making a concentrated effort to include me in their outings and gatherings, looking as joyous as the rest of them.

I however, didn't want to be happy. Being in the monastery brought back all sorts of painful memories. I wasn't looking to be part of the little group either, nobody knew just how fake this whole act really was than I. As much as they liked to parade the fact that they'd become a family, I knew better. I knew they wouldn't hesitate to turn on each other at the first sign of trouble. Our previous heist had bound us to each other in some way, but there would always be some friction between them. Emotions ran rampant and with the thrill of the heist, it was impossible for them to keep a cool head.

I'd witnessed that first hand.

Only Palermo seemed to be in the same boat as I. He tried to keep up his charade for appearances sake, but I knew that trouble was swimming just below the surface.

We were bound together by our mutual loss. I knew he would want to talk about it, but I wasn't yet ready to admit my own cowardice. I should've fought harder, I should've gone back, stayed with him. A part of me wanted to die with him, and to be honest I think I did die with him in that hallway.

///

Palermo was playing nice. Showing off like only he knew how, letting the team see him in his element, all warm smiles and sunshine in his eyes, lulling them into a false sense of security as he spouted our equations and solutions in equal measure.

I, however, knew better than to think of him as anything other than lethal. If Berlin had been considered unpredictable by the team, they'd be in for a nasty surprise with Palermo. The man who submitted to no one's will but a man who was now long dead. Not even our dearest Professor could hope to control him, no, he could only contain him, and hope that Palermo would follow along. I wondered if he knew that was the reason I was here too. I knew Sergio thought of me as being capable of keeping him controlled, but nobody but Andres had ever been able to. I was a distant relic of his past, and I was also the reason why we'd both lost the love of our lives. Or loves in my case. For with Andres' death, Martin had died with him too.

///

I felt sorry for us all.

For what we'd lost, for what we'd never have again.

Even Sergio, who had apparently found the love of his life, still looked sad at times, no doubt missing his older brother.

A game of soccer didn't sound that appealing to me, but I promised to cheer on Palermo, so as to not disrupt the groups that'd been formed.

Watching him snap at the others, I swallowed heavily.

I noticed it then, what Sergio had warned me about. If Martin had been unpredictable and dangerous before, he was more so now. The man before me had nothing to lose, I knew it then. He was willing to follow this plan, follow it to the death, where he'd once again be joined with the love of his life.

///

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