Drawn to the Sea

Chapter 17: Stay

Sit down and buckle up because we got some mighty fine ANGST in this chapter.

Nathaniel

When we got to the cave, Douglass was still passed out. I carried him to our bed, laying him down carefully. I didn't know what happened, but I was going to find out as soon as he woke up. In the meantime, I had to clean him up.

Once he was settled on the bed, I grabbed the first aid supplies from where I'd learned they were. I used a cloth and the healing salve tucked into the box to clean his cuts. Most were on his face, so he looked pretty beat up. Once I'd cleaned the blood off, I rub the salve gently into each cut and watched as they closed into pink lines.

I had just finished when he stirred awake, groaning. "Ugh..."

I sat on the bed, helping him sit up. "Feeling okay?"

He nodded once, not meeting my eyes. "I'm fine."

"Hey..." I put my hand on the side of his face. "What happened... It's got you pretty shaken up, doesn't it?"

He swallowed. "Yes, it does."

"Tell me what happened? I get the feeling that this wasn't just some mugging in a dark parking lot."

He let out a pained laugh. "Not even close."

'Let's start with who that guy was?"

"A demon."

"Oh."

"A demon sent by Maximus."

I froze. "Oh."

He nodded, curling his knees into his chest. "He found me."

I could tell he tried to fight it, but his voice wavered. "Oh, Douglass... What are we going to do?"

"We aren't going to do anything. We're separating."

I blinked. "What?"

He gently took my hand off his face, placing it in my own lap. "You are going back to your apartment, your old life, and forgetting I ever existed. And I'm..." He closed his eyes, almost like he didn't want to look at me. "And I'm leaving. I'm finding a new cave away from any land and staying there."

"Douglass... Why?"

"I... He found me, which means that he knows about you. And if he knows about you, then you're in more danger than you could possibly imagine."

I stood up. "And you get to decide what I do with my life?"

He lowered his knees from his chest. "I'm trying to protect you! Don't you realize that he can kill you without even leaving the comfort of his home?"

I rolled my eyes. "You can't tell me whether or not I risk my own life, Douglass!"

He stood, hardly even a foot away from me. "You wouldn't be just risking your life, you be signing it away! You can't let yourself die!"

"I wouldn't be letting myself die! I'd be living the way I want to."

He threw his hands up in the air, his eyes seeming more luminescent than they had been before. "How can you say that? He'll hunt you down and make sure you die, just so that I'm not with you! He'd draw it out, and he'd make we watch as you begged for death."

I felt my breath catch as the realization hit me. "This has happened before, hasn't it? You fell in love and he murdered who it was."

"He was a healer. He swore he would never hurt anyone. He held up that promise, even when he had the chance to get away by hurting Max. "His eyes were shining and one tear slipped down his face. "Never again. I am not letting that happen. Ever. Again."

"I get to decide if I leave you because of this or not." Even with what he'd told me, I wasn't going to just lay down and submit to someone who'd hurt him so much. If anything, it made me want to stay more, so that I could make sure he didn't get hurt.

More tears ran down his face, and I could tell he was desperate for me to leave. "I'm not worth dying for!"

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm not! Too many people have died because of the decisions I've made. Why do you want to stay so badly?"

"Because I love you!" The words came out before I could think to stop them, and as soon as I realized what I said my face heated up.

The anger in his eyes faded into shock. He let out a small noise, sinking to the ground with a hand clasped over his mouth. I shouted in surprise, kneeling in front of him. "Douglass?"

He let out a small sob, crying even harder. "You can't."

"I can't what? Why are you so hellbent on people not loving you?"

"Because loving me is a curse!" He said it so angrily through his tears that I knew he believed it was true.

I sighed, taking his face in my hands. "Why do you beleive that?"

He was crying so hard that his words were broken up as he said, "B-Because every--everyone who has e-ever said th-that to me has either gotten h-urt or died horrible d-deaths and I can't take another person dying because of me. I j-just can't! And in the end, they j-just said it so I would feel better about being with them and they di-didn't mean it and-- I can't-- I can't take it anymore--"

"Douglass..." I pursed my lips. "Loving you is the only thing I can count on. With everything else that has been happening... It's the only thing I'm sure of."

He shook his head. "No."

I set my jaw, taking one of his hands and pressing it against my chest. He looked at me in confusion through his sobs. "What--"

"I love you." I locked eyes with him. "You can feel my heartbeat. I'm not lying when I say it. You can't tell me I'm lying. I love you."

He inhaled sharply, his hand curling on my shirt and clutching the fabric. "You... You're not... You mean it?"

I leaned forward, pressing my lips to his quickly. "With all my heart."

He let out a shaky breath but didn't stop crying. "Okay."

I pursed my lips again. "You still don't believe me, do you?"

He hesitated, his face blotchy from crying, then slowly shook his head without looking at me. I stood, then pulled him up and lead him to the bed. I laid him down, then started taking off my jacket.

He looked at me apprehensively. "What are you doing?"

I dropped my jacket to the floor, then took off my shoes. As I crawled onto the bed and took his face in my hands, I said with all the seriousness I would muster, "I'm showing you how much I love you. What me loving you means, and what you mean to me."

He inhaled as I kissed him, pouring every emotion I felt for him into it. I pulled away for a second, locking eyes with him again. "I won't do anything you don't want me to. You can stop me now. I'll stand up and I'll walk away. But I won't tell you that I don't love you."

He swallowed. "I-"

"You don't have to say it back. Not until you're ready. But I won't do this if you don't want to."

When he didn't respond, I felt a spike of pain in my chest. I started to sit up off him, but he grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me back down into another kiss.

He wrapped his arms around my neck and murmured onto my lips, "Stay."

So I did. I stayed with him and showed him a night he would never forget.