The Toll {Book 2}

9. Still Afraid- Nadia

Hannabella took us out to buy shoes in the coming day. She and Martin had emptied their wardrobes of all the items of clothing they no longer wore, and dumped them into Ferdinand's and my rooms. There were gowns the colors of midnight sky and noontime blue, and day dresses in blushing pink and butter yellow. Ferdinand had suits that looked at home on his frame, and were only slightly too large for his depleted size. But no matter how hard we tried, we simply could not fit into the Lephard's old shoes. The satin heels were far too small on me, and Ferdinand slapped around in Martin's boots and dress shoes. So the trip out to the cobblers was arranged, and now we stood by the counter as a man sorted out our order.

Hannabella kept up a steady stream of conversation. "These boots are going to look fabulous with the gowns, Nadia. They're comfortable as well. Same design I wear personally. Perfect for walking long distances, as well as fashionable for most casual teas and daytime social events." My own pair wouldn't be ready for a few more days, as they were custom made by the cobbler, but they had a pair to show the customers the design. They were pretty, with two-toned leather and shiny buttons to keep them closed.

The clerk said something in Flaunsian and grinned as he handed her the receipt. I wasn't sure, but I had a suspicion that Hannabella's patronage was well advertised by the store. Just her being inside had drawn in a few women and men who hadn't otherwise been looking for shoes. At the moment, we were the only ones in the shop, but just being able to claim that the famous Flaunsian opera singer had bought shoes recently would be enough to drum up quite a bit of business.

As Hannabella finished up our business, my eyes wandered to the large windows at the front of the store. They overlooked the street and the sidewalk where nannies in black, and couples in plums and pines, walked and strolled and otherwise made their way to wherever they needed to be. I'd had some fun watching them.

I reached for Ferdinand's arm to my right, wanting to point out an ostrich-feather hat one of the women was wearing, but before my fingers found his sleeve, my whole body froze at the sight of a group of men in emerald green uniforms marching by.

Though I knew they were Flaunsian, and that they wouldn't even have their guns out in the city, my blood still ran cold. My heart spiked in my chest and before I could stop myself, I'd stumbled backward a few feet. The soldiers marched by the shop in rows and rows, their buttons glinting and their eyes fixed ahead. They didn't once swivel to take a peek in the cobbler, yet I felt like it was only a matter of time until they noticed me inside and burst through the door to declare me a supporter of the Vigilant Men. Surely, someone must have seen the advertisements of me for the anti-royalist ballet I'd been tricked into performing in Rumonin. And in this moment, I knew the army must know. They were fighting the Vigilant Men, and for a time I'd been complicit in the revolution. It didn't matter if Mr. Lennox guided me, I had done the deed of dancing treason.

My jaw hurt as my teeth ground into each other, and my hands grasped for anything to steady myself on. I caught the edge of a table, and when I was certain that I wouldn't tip over, I glanced in Ferdinand's direction.

He was looking outside as well, and his face was gray and his lips white as he pressed them tightly together. His right hand hung at his side, shaking freely, though I didn't think he noticed. His eyes were pasted to the soldiers still going by the window.

I pushed away from the table I leaned on, and as I moved I brushed against Hannabella. She turned, the question of whether I was all right on her lips, just in time to see the end of the parading soldiers. Dawning rose on her face, and she looked toward first me and then Ferdinand.

"They're Flaunsian soldiers," she said. "They're only out patrolling to make sure that none of the refugees are really Vigilant Men dissenters trying to stir up trouble and disrupt our attacks on Rumonin."

The view out the window returned to the citizens of Flauns, and it was if a spell had broken. My breath returned, and Ferdinand blinked a few times and turned around.

Hannabella looped her purse over her wrist and placed a hand on both Ferdinand's and my backs. "There's nothing to worry about here, darlings. The fighting is far away, and in Flauns we're only ever allowed to have simply beautiful mornings. Yes? Now, let's go find something sweet and messy to eat for lunch."

She started to head toward the door, but Ferdinand and I stayed in place. Though the initial fear was gone, my limbs still felt weak and stiff.

Ferdinand chewed on the inside of his cheek and looked at the floor. "Do you think we might be able to go home instead?"

Hannabella paused by the door. "Yes. Of course." Her gaze bounced between us, concerned and confused. She held out her hand for me, and I took it. She pulled me close and offered a comforting smile. "We'll just have lunch at home." She looked back to Ferdinand and beckoned him to follow us as we stepped out into the street and walked away from where the soldiers had gone.