The Ascendant

Chapter Fifty-Eight

‘Are you’s lot ready to rumble or are yeh gonna sit roond here talking shite and crashed-out for the night?’ Iain had appeared in the living room doorway, recomposed, shaved, washed, gelled and leathered from waistcoat to toe. He looked ridiculous and for that reason, in Camden Town, he knew full well he’d fit in perfectly. ‘I’ve got a wee thirst on me.’

Iain was undecided about heeding his own advice to stay off the booze; his health regime had already suffered considerable damage as a result of the sheer mass of food he’d consumed this afternoon. ‘I’ll think about it over a few pints,’ he told me as we strolled down to The Enterprise. I decided to follow his lead but after the heady herbal intake of the afternoon everything seemed to be occurring in slow motion. Well, I was anyway, although my confidence had taken a boost following an inspection in the mirror shortly before we left the house; whitish eyes, eyelids 60% up, 80% when I applied myself. My speech sounded coherent (to my ears) and since Dawn joined the fray we were all singing from the same nursery rhyme sheet. It was just my brains that felt like they’d spent half an hour in the hands of the chef from Sesame Street.

The drinks were ordered and our regular perch near the bar secured. The speed and tone of chat was reduced and downsized to on-to-ones, with Dawn and Greek, and Joe and Luis pairing off, leaving me to talk bollocks with Iain. He remained undecided about his immediate plans. ‘Ecstasy is the logical option,’ he whispered, ‘but my mind’s still not thinking logically. Maybe if I have a couple of wee liveners after this that’ll help the thought process.’ Another of Iain’s difficulties was that his stomach was still weighed down heavily from his ganja-induced gluttony of a few hours ago, so his options in terms of volume, i.e. beer, were already debilitated. He was a man with a lot on his mind.

Dawn tapped my leg to capture my attention and moved her mouth towards my ear to tell me something. I tilted my head downwards to help narrow the gap and listened closely. ‘Joe’s got a couple of spare E’s,’ she whispered excitedly, squeezing my thigh muscles before taking a sip of wine, and I responded with what I could best hope was a blank expression.

She turned her attention back to Greek, discussing current fashion and how expensive it was to have the hairstyle of the moment. Both agreed it was worth it, but it would be important to strike now rather than wait six months when everyone would have it. This is what money can buy you: an exclusive identity, or at least an expensive identity, which is sort of the same thing.

Iain was jabbering on to my right, something about Glasgow Rangers’s destiny to be Scottish football champions every year for the next hundred and fifty but I was slightly panicked by Dawn’s eagerness to take ecstasy. I had considered her to be my safeguard, a barrier against Iain and his drug and whisky fuelled ramblings but the prospect of taking class A drugs had clearly excited her, which in turn placed me under unexpected pressure. Would I be the prude; the square, boring one who knows where to draw the line? Looking round at my learned and trusted friends I felt saddened at the prospect of losing them, as I surely would as soon as the money stopped coming in.

Interrupting Iain’s boasting about Rangers’s apparent impending domination of the European Champions League, I flagged him towards me with my right index finger.

‘Say what?’, he asked.

‘How do you feel about moving on to plan E?’

‘Benny boy! Now yer talking my sorta language!’

All sorts of dodgy handshakes were going on as we left The Enterprise, Joe and Iain distributing the tablets while grateful recipients checked over both shoulders. If any prizes were being given out for conspicuousness, I think I would have shaded Iain out for the top gong but none of the passers-by seemed to be paying attention so we 'dropped' the tabs, washing them down with a bottle of water Joe had procured from a nearby petrol station.

It wasn’t like speed or coke. I took and nothing happened. We stopped off in The Worlds End for a drink en route to Camden Palace, the local rave hall. It was my round so I called them in, checking the contents of my wallet for funds; supplies were plentiful, a thick wad of notes crammed into the longest compartment. I handed the barmaid a twenty and stuffed the change in my pocket. I was cruising, still stoned from this afternoon’s marijuana binge and had decided upon a double Jack Daniels with coke to give my senses a kick-start. Cigarettes were being handed round by Greek and I took one but became instantly disappointed upon smoking it; there was no kick, no slap in the face, no high, no fear; just blue-grey smoke. A pointless, highly addictive drug. The scam of the century.

Hang on a minute, what was that? ‘Whoh!’, I murmured. Iain turned towards me and gave me his knowing look which I had previously mistaken for sinisterness. He stood alongside me nodding along in time with the music - something by The Beatles, who were enjoying a renaissance period following the success of their celebrated admirers, Oasis. ‘I think I felt something there.’

‘Have yeh never tried it before?’, asked Iain, slightly concerned, but mostly intrigued.

‘Yeah of course, I was just wondering when it was going to take effect. Seemed a bit of a delay. I think it’s gone again, no hang on a minute…’

‘Just be patient Ben. Mine’s just starting to come through as well. Don’t worry, if they’re shite we should be able to score in the club.’

I wasn’t worried but I did feel ... different. Dawn headed off to the toilets while the rest of us waited ... waited for Dawn, waited at the bar, waited for something to happen. Joe and Luis gave up waiting and headed off to a (gay) party. Strange how my homophobia had quietly dissolved since I'd been living just across the hall from what had to be the most sexually active gay bloke in North London. Maybe it was because I had no choice, maybe my mind was broadening in a way I had not expected or intended, but I guessed it was no bad thing. I still wouldn’t have fancied my chances at one of his parties though; sometimes it was handy to have a bloke with a testosterone imbalance around, just to save you from letting things become too adventurous.

There it goes again, this time a more sustained rush. A quite positive rush. I took another double Jack from Greek, who had a noticeable glow about her despite her suddenly dilated pupils. I whirled the liquid round the glass, strobing its vortex as the ice clinked and chinked, getting faster and faster but never quite spilling over the edge of the glass.

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ It was Dawn, refreshed from her toilet break and making a friendly invasion into my little world of spin, fun, happiness and gaiety. Her pupils too, were dilated but her eyes were filled with intrigue, excitement and affection.

‘Fuck knows,’ I laughed and Dawn smiled warmly, her unblinking eyes locked and loaded on mine.

‘Did you buy me a drink?’

‘Here you go,’ said Greek, producing a full glass of white wine from somewhere. ‘So, how’s everyone feeling?’

If I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt right then, I had a pretty good idea a couple of hours later; after all, they didn’t name it ecstasy without good reason. Dancing constantly, sweating profusely and overheating between watered rest periods, I was having my most care-free, loved-up experience in recent or distant memory. Iain, almost certainly regretting his leather outfit, punched the air and gyrated animatedly, while Greek and Dawn swung and swayed in tandem. I hadn’t seen a bad dancer all night, possibly because of my chemically enhanced sense of generosity, but more likely, I liked to think, because everyone had lost their inhibitions about the way they danced; no-one really gave a shit what anyone else thought. They were just having a good time. Good, clean fun. Hugs and smiles all round, courtesy at the water bar and friendliness without predatory instincts. Even Iain seemed to appreciate it, limiting his more committed advances to about half-a-dozen females.

We got out of there at about 4am, drenched and drained, in search of a coffee shop still open where we could sit down and talk about it.