The Ascendant

Chapter Forty-Eight

The publishing of the league tables was proving to be a great success, popular with everyone but the least efficient contractors (“Cuff Links” Brevett was propping the rest up, with “blood vessels” Kavenagh in a similarly tight squeeze). There were a couple of surprises, however: Corcoron the Cornishman was streaking ahead of the field, while the most monied firms, led by Giles Winters and Bob Hustings, were languishing in fourth and fifth place. Only the top three would be promoted to elite status, where the reward was to wallow in a bottomless pool of cash.

The scheme was barely two months old, and Corcoron may yet be overtaken by the more resourceful contractors before the review ends in seven to ten months time, but since the carrot had been dangled Corcoron had decided to specialise, casting aside other business interests as he concentrated on securing a third of ours. It was a calculated risk, perhaps a foolish one, but for the time being he was leading the comparatively opulent field.

Hobbs was concerned about the unexpectedly poor performances of Winters and Hustings; although the system had been sold to the contractors as a straight forward first-past-the-post race, based upon a wide ranging criteria; he had expected these two financial heavyweights to show the others the way.

‘These guys should be the front runners. They’ve got the infrastructure and resources but Corcoron, God bless him, has put his balls on the block and he’s got no intention of letting us drop a mallet on them. That’s the seventh week running he’s come out on top. He’s doing a fine job Ben, but we need Winters and Hustings to put together a push; contracts have been signed over this review and if we’re going to reorganise the department in the manner which I want then we’re going to have to reduce the panel to three contractors per region. Your big hitters simply aren’t producing the goods; I don’t know if they think their reputations will override any poor performance but you must explain to them this is simply not the case.'

I listened and assimilated with growing ease.

'Doug Shires and George Kelps are doing excellently but I wouldn’t be entirely comfortable with a panel consisting of three medium sized contractors. One, no problem, two I’m not so sure, but three? It jeopardises the project, Ben and I am concerned we may have to abandon it entirely, which would take some explaining bearing in mind the positive feedback we’ve had from our clients. When are you next seeing Winters and Hustings?’

‘I’ve got a meeting with Winters on Friday afternoon; Hustings has invited me to his executive box at Highbury this Saturday; Arsenal are playing Spurs.’

‘Right, well you’ve got to spell this out to them both in no uncertain terms: I want you tell them that I am gravely concerned about their results. Their costs are too high, their turnaround times too slow, and they are getting far too many complaints; five and six percent, that’s unacceptably high. Corcoron’s complaints are running at less than one percent of his work volume while everyone is aware of these figures and their respective standings, that’s the whole point of publishing them weekly, as you well know Ben. Can I leave that with you?’

‘Certainly Paul. I’ll make sure they’re both crystal clear of what we require from them and I’ll report back to you on Monday.’

‘Good. Now, we need to discuss clients, Ben. How are you getting on?’

‘Very well, I think. Sarah Longbridge is straight-forward, direct and very results oriented, which is no problem because we’re within the agreed service standards right across the board. Tim Banks needs a little more attention, he’s happy with what we’re doing but I think I should take him out for lunch soon before he starts to get grumpy again.’

‘No problem, just arrange it. See if you can free up an afternoon next week and take him to the Montague On The Gardens in Bloomsbury. Tim likes to be plied with plenty of robust red wine, just make sure you keep a copy of the receipt. How how about Nigel Swift?’

‘Nigel’s OK too I think.’

‘Just OK? Ben, Chambers Benjamin and Bartlett are our biggest client in the north London area. Having a client of such importance being merely “OK” is not a satisfactory situation. When are you seeing him next?’

‘I’ve no appointment arranged as yet but I spoke to him on the telephone yesterday. He seemed fine Paul, really.’

‘With all due respect Ben, I have a good deal more experience of dealing with Nigel Swift than you have. Keeping Nigel contented can be arduous and time consuming, and I know he can be a right royal pain in the arse. He is a high maintenance customer Ben, but we heavily depend upon the business. Get on the phone to him this morning, book a couple of tickets for the opera - you will have to check the listings on the Royal Opera House website to see what’s playing at the moment and what’s been well reviewed - and get him on your side.’

‘But I don’t know anything about the opera,’ I protested. ‘Can’t we just give him two tickets and let him take his wife? I’m sure he’d appreciate it much more.’

Hobbs straightened his back with a sharp sigh.

‘And what will that do to improve your one-to-one relationship with Nigel Swift? What I suggest you do Ben, is get on the phone to the ROH to confirm the availability of the best tickets, offer Nigel a couple of alternative dates, book the tickets for the relevant date and buy yourself a book to read up about the bloody opera! Who knows Ben, maybe you’ll enjoy it. But whether you do enjoy yourself or not you will speak – emphatically – about what an uplifting experience it was for you. You will praise Nigel on his encyclopaedic knowledge of the subject and quiz him hungrily. You will kiss his arse and much else besides. There are times in life when it pays to be at least that sycophant Ben. This is one of them.’

I made the relevant phone calls before booking two front row tickets for Wagner's Die Walküre. Swift had told me how the boxes were a ‘persistently overrated vantage point unless, unless of course you wish to enjoy a perfect view of all those blasted technicians running round with wires and light bulbs,’ so it was a good job I asked him where he would prefer to sit. We would be going there a week tomorrow, meeting for a meal at Tutton's beforehand.

A night at the opera. I smiled to myself as I leant back in my seat with my hands behind my head, wondering if they’d be singing any Queen tracks.