An Earnest Favour

XXXIII

"No sooner met but they looked; no sooner looked but they loved; no sooner loved but they sighed; no sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason; no sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy; and in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage..." William Shakespeare, As You Like It

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XXXIII.

Claire lost all feeling in her legs as they buckled underneath her, her wrists catching her before she fell to the ground properly, saving her belly from any trauma. Her breaths were shallow and panicked and she felt as though she were going into shock.

From the corner of her eye, she could see Arthur walking away, leaving her on the ground, but Jack was quick to kneel before her, placing his hands under her arms to lift her to her feet.

"Do you need a doctor?" Jack asked tersely, and Claire dared to look up at him.

"How could you do it?" Claire rasped tearfully. "How could you challenge him?"

She could see the mistrust as plain as day in Jack's hazel eyes. Were she not so frightened, so unnerved, she would have been furious.

"How could I not?" he countered angrily. "That man laughs at me!" he hissed. "And he has no respect for you."

"And so, you would kill him for it?" Claire exclaimed, almost shrilly. She wiped the tears from her eyes with her fingers. "Or you would die because of it?" Her voice broke at the very thought.

Jack's lips pressed firmly together. "Did you plan this?" he snapped. "Did you arrange to meet him? Did you mean to steal away to him? Tell me so at once."

Claire's hand whipped across Jack's cheek before she knew what she was doing, but she could not regret it. "No!" she cried emphatically. "No, I never planned anything! I never asked for anything! I was hot!" Claire insisted. "I told you so in the church. I needed some air and he was here without my knowledge. He accosted me and owing to the fifty-pound gourd I am carrying; I was not quick to get away! Though I tried to push him away from me. I did try."

Claire's hands fell to her sides as she looked up at Jack, truly unknowing what else she could do prove herself.

"You begged my forgiveness," she whispered. "You asked for my faith. You told me you trusted me."

Claire watched as Jack's face softened, and his eyes filled with guilt and remorse. He nodded in concession, and said, "You're right. I did ask that of you. I do ... I do trust you, Claire. All I know is I rounded the corner and saw you ... with him. I wasn't paying much heed to what your hands were doing. I'm sorry. I made a snap judgement."

"I don't think you do," said Claire tearfully, as she shook her head. Claire felt a pain her chest, not unlike the pain she felt keenly the day that Arthur has spurned her in September. Only this pain made her previous suffering feel like a tickle. Claire's heart ached immeasurably at the realisation that perhaps Arthur, and the mistakes that she had made with him, would forever haunt her. He was stopping Jack from loving her, and in that moment, Claire realised that she wanted nothing more than for Jack to love her.

Properly love her. Passionately, mercilessly, foolishly and ardently love her. Claire wanted Jack to love her the way that she had fallen in love with him. Utterly, and without realising, Claire had become completely his. Claire's vision for her future had changed. She saw Jack. She saw them as terrific friends, the team they had been, and yet so stupidly in love with one another that they were the envy of all. She saw their children, the ones they would share together, and they would be raised in a loving home knowing nothing but care and compassion for their dreams. They would grow together, take care of one another, and be the other's champion. And yet there was an unyielding mountain in the way of Jack becoming Claire's.