An Earnest Favour

XXXVI

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." Dr. Seuss

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XXXVI.

Claire awoke with the start when she heard her baby crying. Jack, too, who had been sleeping while sitting upright beside her, nearly fell off the bed in fright at the sound.

Claire was not at all certain of what time it was, but it was very dark in the bedroom. Jackie had been placed in the basinet beside the bed, the one that both Perrie and Lily had used.

"Don't you get up," Jack urged, as he leapt out of the bed and raced around to the basinet. Claire watched in admiration as he had a rather pleased smile on his face as he collected Jackie from her basket. Jack appeared to be handling delicate china as he lifted the baby with his good arm, slowly bringing her grizzling form over to Claire's waiting arms.

Claire took her tiny child into her arms and admired her briefly before starting to feed her as her mother had shown her earlier. As she suckled, Claire enjoyed the feeling of Jackie's soft, fine hair tickling her arm. It nearly appeared silver in the darkness.

Claire then realised that this was the first time that she had Jack had been alone with their daughter. Throughout the day, there had always been one family member or another present to offer advice or to teach her what to do. As much as Claire appreciated their help, she did want time alone with Jack in order for them to get to know their child.

Furthermore, she wanted time alone with her husband to talk to him. Childbirth had not prevented her from noticing the bloody shirt he wore when he had entered the bedroom. He had been shot.

"Claire, I am so proud of you, you know," murmured Jack as he watched them, returning to his place in the bed beside her. "I don't think I've ever been more terrified in my life before today."

Claire glanced at him. "I know exactly what you mean," she replied. Those few moments when Jackie had been blue had felt like hours. And she would never resent the sound of her baby crying. "But my fear began much earlier this morning."

Jack nodded slowly, grimacing.

"Jack, you promised me you wouldn't fight," Claire whispered.

"No, no," replied Jack quickly. "I never promised. I told you I wouldn't, but I didn't promise."

Claire frowned deeply. "Are you trying to tell me you are without guilt because you merely lied?"

"No," sighed Jack. "I lied to you, and I apologise. I should not have told you I wouldn't fight when I had every intention of going." Jack leaned back against the bedhead. "Claire, he dishonoured you ... and for the last time."

Claire felt the blood leave her face, and she was thankful for the darkness. Was Arthur dead?

But Jack seemed to sense her horror. "We both fired," he continued, "his shot landed, as you see. I fired into the air. I demanded satisfaction and I received it."

Claire was genuinely shocked to hear that Jack had fired into the air, but at the same time, she was incredibly relieved. Duels were a barbaric practice, and she saw no honour in them as many gentlemen did. But the idea that Jack could have fired at someone on her behalf was sickening.

"I think I could have lived with it," Jack decided quietly. "Had he accosted you, touched you ... I think I could have lived with it had we simply moved to London had begun our lives as the three of us. But I went because not only did he dishonour you, I did as well." Jack softly brushed some hair out of Claire's face and tucked it behind her head. His hand then dropped, briefly grazing her collarbone before landing beside her. "I doubted you, and I hate that my first reaction was to doubt you."